Anyone stopped contact with their mum?

[AperolNeeded]

Just looking for peoples experiences doing this and the reasons why they did it.

Currently debating whether I should NC or try LC first?

@happytobeheresparkl

I've done this so many times...I just feel like I'm chipping away at a part of me, every time I do that though. I've been my DP for over 6 years and he said this is the worst he's seen me when it comes to M as I've just reached my limit. Then again I was stupid enough to think she wouldn't do this to me again after everything we went through with DGM together.

@tinyvulture

This is the dream...that she would seek help. I've suggested counselling for the last 15 years. I've even suggested we go to counselling together to try and work through our problems but every time it's been a resounding no. She has openly told me she knows she has been a horrible mother, I have had her crying down the phone for forgiveness before so part of me thinks there's hope as she does know that her behaviour towards me has been horrible. It's just this stage where she couldn't a flying fiddle who she upsets and can say very very cruel and hurtful things but I know in a month or two time, she'll be back to 'nice' self.

The best thing you can do for your siblings is let them know that they are not the problem, that your mothers behaviour is wrong and be a support for them.

Looking back, having someone confirm how wrong she was being, how unreasonable she was and that I wasn’t the horrible nasty person she told me I was, would have done wonders for my anxiety and self esteem.

Going LC or NC with your parents, doesn’t mean you have to be that with your siblings.

attilathemeerkat
"Your mother likely never sought or even wanted to seek the necessary help and you became the scapegoat for all her inherent ills."

This.

Oh my goodness, Attila, have you nailed this one ! I couldn't have put it better myself. Have you studied psychology?

Quick update...she called, was sheepish...no apology as such but by her change of tone and the conversation, she knew she'd upset me and in her own dysfunctional way was trying to make up for this.

It's not perfect, I know I'm still going to have to keep some guard up and distance between us but this is still some improvement to how she used to deal with things. I can only hope that her reverting back to old behaviours and reactions is due to this bloody lockdown, not a sign of things to comes when things go back to normal 🤞🏻