@MyHappinessProjectx I know what you mean, I'm a people pleaser too. His home life was unpleasant but he is an overt narcissist. I don't have any sympathy for him due to how he acts, and I don't feel the need to have any.
If you know for a fact that he lied about being terminally ill (was this when you were actually in a relationship with him???)
He lied to me that doctors had told him he only had a few years to live. My best friend has the same condition, so I know doctors would never tell someone with that condition that, as they can all live for an indefinite amount of time. I didn't realize until after we split that this was bollox, but due to my detailed knowledge of the condition I should've known. I suppose you just never expect someone to lie about something like that, so if you don't realize what they're like it wouldn't enter your mind.
whether out of pure calculatedness, or -- perhaps more likely - out of a deep sense of unworthiness
Whether it was due to unworthiness or not, it was still calculated. He deliberately came out of it to get a response/aid in manipulation.
Could you consider talking to someone to help you get over it?
@GiveMyHeadPeaceffs I see a psychologist for other stuff, but at the moment I don't have a problem/am not concerned with my emotional process about him. It's only been a few months since I blocked him, and I have a lot to learn from what happened. We stigmatize anger in this society, especially in women, but all my emotions about what he did are completely natural and I find them manageable. Obviously if I was consumed by it and it negatively effected the rest of my life I'd feel the need to seek help about it. But yes, I do have someone to talk to about it if necessary.
I don’t think it’s healthy for you to be giving him any more room in your head
@Sn0tnose It's natural and healthy after such an experience to process it, especially as it'll help me develop better boundaries/trust in my 'spider sense' etc in future.
@BrevilleTron No, but unfortunately he's not the only pathological liar/narc. 
Sorry if youu had the misfortune to meet one.
and then less and less and less until when I think of him now as I type this, I can hardly be bothered to roll my eyes
HappinessProject Yes, I don't think of it obsessively, it's just one of many activities and doesn't take up much of my time. You're right about the eye-rolling, it's just like a soap opera really (though a sick one) and eventually loses impact.
^Is this the guy who was married and was your therapist, and you were going to send his wife the letter detailing all his other affairs?Because if it's the first, or even the second, I don't see why you're so shocked.*
He wasn't my therapist, he just happened to be a therapist, not that that makes it much better, I know it's probably gormless but I didn't realize he'd told me a pack of lies, I thought he was a friend. He said he had sexless marriage (which I think was a lie- a lot of blokes seem to use that one, it's the modern ' my wife doesn't understand me.') He said it was only after ten years of his marriage being sexless that he began to seek a sex life of any kind for himself. He made it sound like he had been a hero for putting up with the lack of sex for so long. He said he only didn't tell his wife what he was upto so as not to hurt her feelings.
I'm shocked as I find out/realize more stuff about him- I had no idea, although people around me did. I think his wife has a right to know and I'm not alone in thinking that. She could have another 20 or 30 years to do something else with her life, if she chooses to.
Slippery- How deranged they are. Well done for seeing through it and calling his bluff. Glad you past your test despite him. xxx