Would you split up with a lazy partner?

[Lottiebugz22]

My partner has become so incredibly lazy. He stayed up till 4am on his xbox and then sleeps all day either on the sofa or in bed. I am doing all the house work and looking after our 16 month old who isn't sleeping very well at the moment, a combination of teething and development I think. I feel totally exhausted and exasperated with the way my 32 year old partner behaves. I feel like I don't have any feelings for him right now but we are still in lockdown so I can't tell him to go and stay elsewhere or have a break etc. I also worry about the aftermath of splitting because he just sleeps all the time so he wouldn't be looking after our daughter properly when he had his time with her. I just feel helpless and so unhappy.

Yes.

I strongly believe in equal partnership in relationships.
I would give him a time frame to change and then if he doesn't, stick to that timeframe and leave.

Essentially being your partners mother will destroy any romantic feelings for them and you'll just resent them.

Have you spoken to him about it and told him what you want? That would drive me mad especially if you are having broken sleep. Me and my husband have always taken it in turns getting up with the kids in the nighy (weather he was working or not) and then sleep ins at the weekend.

I doubt your partner would want to have your dc for any length of time, so I wouldn't worry about that. He might claim he would, but in reality, I seriously don't think so.

Do you want your child to grow up thinking it's normal for the woman to slave her guts out while the bloke lies around all day? He's not a bloody lion 🦁.

Get rid.

And he can change households during lockdown, just can't go between.

Yes that's exactly how I feel. Like his mother! I feel really down about myself also like I'm this really grumpy stressy woman. I never show this in front of my daughter. I get no time for myself either as I'm constantly watching my dd or tidying up mess that never ends.

**Do you want your child to grow up thinking it's normal for the woman to slave her guts out while the bloke lies around all day? He's not a bloody lion 🦁.

You're right. I needed to read this. I've felt guilty for wanting to split as I wanted to make it work for her.

I've spoken to him a few times now. He just stresses at me and says he never has time to go on his xbox so he has to go on at night and is exhausted due to having his only time at night?! Sounds pathetic and can't believe I'm even typing that.

It's not uncommon for men to revert to teen mode when a child comes along. They start to see the female partner as mummy to them too. Some of it is jealousy of the amount of time the mother devotes to the child, as focus shifts. They don't seem to realise that if they shared the load - both mental and physical, the relationship would improve.

It's much easier and more freeing for the man to remain in teen mode, so they do.