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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Booking holidays secretly

19 replies

Healthyandhappy · 13/05/2020 21:13

Just wondering I have a husband whom hates holidays abroad. However wants to go when we do go and shows no interest at all about looking/booking etc.
Last year I booked gran canaria half board 2 weeks I also paid for it (I had a car accident) he never showed interest until we got their I sorted it all out.

This year he said sea side but looks like that wont happen anyways.

Anyways I've looked for next year and paid deposit and were of to Turkey 9 nights us 2 and 6 and 11 year old. Hes got face on as he doesnt wanna go to turkey infact he doesnt wanna go at all on holiday!
I've said I'll happily go with kids and my mum he can stay at home if he wants.

Do you always get partner /husband approval before you book. Iv booked grand yazici marmaris palace in august 2021. I work full time as a nurse and I'm saving for it anyways so dont want his money.

OP posts:
funnylittlefloozie · 13/05/2020 21:20

Did he enjoy himself on the Gran Canaria holiday? If he moans about holidays during the planning but is happy once he gets there, i would just ignore his whinging and tell him to get on the plane and shut up (joke).

Healthyandhappy · 13/05/2020 21:21

He did 1st week but after that he stayed in apart hotel and I did everything with kids. If upto him would never go but wouldn't not go but hates been their so a tricky one lol.

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Healthyandhappy · 13/05/2020 21:22

I'll take your advise when I go downstairs in abit lol thanks :)

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TripleTroubleTime · 13/05/2020 21:29

Perhaps he just doesnt like the destinations, i certainly wouldnt, not my cup of tea at all. If my partner booked them behind my back i would have a face on too. Mostly because i would be annoyed they had wasted their money on something i really didnt want. Even trying to make the best of it would be tough, after a week somewhere like that, i would want to come home desperately.

That isnt an insult to your choices, everyone likes different things and it makes the world go round, but, its another perspective.
Perhaps take on board his choice, perhaps he would prefer cornwall or menorca and you could still take control and get it sorted after his initial input. It might mean a lot of compromise initially until you get into the swing of it after a few years.

funnylittlefloozie · 13/05/2020 21:34

So he says he'd go to the seaside in the UK? Ive never been to Turkey but its very Marmite - everyone i know whos been there either loves it or hates it.

Maybe you could compromise next time, and go somewhere in the UK for a change.

copycopypaste · 13/05/2020 21:37

Do as you said you'd do, take your mum, sounds like it would be much more fun anyway.

If he wants a holiday he can book it himself

SavoyCabbage · 13/05/2020 21:41

Why are you booking him on the holidays if he keeps saying he doesn’t want to go on them?

I’d have talked to try and find somewhere you both wanted to go and then if you couldn’t then agree who is going where and the costs and who is having the children.

I wouldn’t just book a family holiday without telling the person I am married to and I wouldn’t be happy if my dh just said ‘I’ve booked a holiday to turkey for 2021’.

MyMonkeyIsATwat · 13/05/2020 21:44

Marmaris would only appeal to a certain type of holiday maker I think, if my DP booked us to go there I wouldn't be happy, in fact I wouldn't go.

BumbleBeee69 · 13/05/2020 21:47

OP believe you deserve this Holiday.. you've gone to all the trouble of booking and paying for it.. so GO... Smile

your DH sounds lazy and selfish ...nobody is forcing him to go.. so go with your kids and your Mum.. and ENJOY lady Flowers

peach1234 · 13/05/2020 21:52

He just sounds miserable! Why should you and the kids miss out just because he throws a strop and refuses to tell you where he'd actually like to go and plan it with you. Boohoo poor him getting taken on holiday you really are a terrible terrible wife! Wink

RantyAnty · 13/05/2020 21:52

Where does he want to go?
Would he rather spend his time off at home?

mindutopia · 13/05/2020 21:53

Yes, if I expect dh to come along, of course we’d discuss it and we’d both be happy with that choice (honestly, I wouldn’t want to go to Turkey either but I understand he’s like this with every holiday so point taken).

But that shouldn’t stop you from going on holiday. I go on holiday without dh or dc every year and it’s wonderful. Plan something special with your mum if you want, but do discuss your plans so he can plan around it with work, etc.

Healthyandhappy · 13/05/2020 22:16

Thanks everyone nice to see everyones opinions. He wants to go primrose valley every year. I like luxury last yr was marina suites puerto rico 2 week yr before zante I've done all sea side he wont go Cornwall or anywhere other than primrose. He seems to have got over it prob realised I mean it when I saw he can stay home lol x

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memgee · 14/05/2020 09:42

I'm not a big fan of Turkey either, I wouldn't be too happy about going.

PowerStruggle · 14/05/2020 09:44

I’m a bit like this, don’t like going on holidays at all, but I usually do the surprise booking because my H likes to travel, so I feel like I should make the compromise. Just have a wee chat with him, ask him what the problem is.

PinkMonkeyBird · 14/05/2020 10:37

My ex was very non-committal about holidays abroad as he said he had 'been there and done that' when he was a kid Confused. We mainly stuck to UK holidays until one year I told him I wanted to go abroad (hadn't decided where) and he either came with me and DC or not. He decided not to and planned a holiday with his brother in the UK.

I booked a holiday half board to Croatia with my DC and made lots of lovely plans, telling him about it all as I went along. Nearer to the time of departure, he then got a bit arsey as he said that he probably would have come with me had he known I was going to Croatia. I said it was a bit too late for that and maybe we could go another time! I won't go into the holiday the following year when it was mutually agreed to go to the Netherlands and he was a moody fucker for the whole time. I had to book everything and although he said he wanted to go, he input nothing into the planning and moaned all the time we were there.

I'm now with someone who loves travelling, isn't a moody fucker and is very enthusiastic in the planning side of things. It is refreshing!

Healthyandhappy · 15/05/2020 17:24

I've never been to Turkey just looks nice. Husband likes bars etc which is why booked ichmeler where as I like quiet but I make it so it matches what we both like. But ye miserable job lol. Pink monkey yes can see me doing this leaving him.at home if he dont wanna go lol

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BumbleBeee69 · 15/05/2020 21:46

I don't believe the location is relevant.. the fact it's overseas I think is what's relevant OP..

Go enjoy your break when it is possible to go .. and let him enjoy his StayCation.. I suspect way more people will be staying in the UK too now..

Healthyandhappy · 16/05/2020 19:00

Many thanks:)

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