Ways to make OLD easier/ somehow attract better luck

[YorkOrLucas]

I'm so fed up of being single but I really hate OLD.

I've just had no luck and I have no confidence with it so every time I get ghosted it really knocks me down again.

Is there a rain dance? Voodoo? I'm willing to do it!

No just having a hide thicker than a rhino, and a very dark sense of humour.

It's a numbers game.

Some people are just browsing - that would be much my h more common now in.curreng circumstances. Some of them are not single and will bail.when they've hit a bit of ego validation/dipped their toe/don't want to get further involved in communication etc.

Sine are caught upnin the sweety shop, nectar collecting, dog with however many dicks, zero attention span thing, always thinking maybe they can do better. You'll see them on there long term.

Some people lie and know they ll be exposed if they get any further involved.

There are many many reasons people ghost that have nothing to do with you.

I just keep bloody going. I’ve been trying (and failing) for years but I’m really making an effort not to take it too personally. I won’t be a good match for 99% of people, and vice versa - and that’s ok.

@GilbertMarkham “dog with however many dicks” - 😂! That certainly rings true.

Join the OLD thread on here.

Go in with no expectations, 99% of conversations will go nowhere. You soon learn to spot the long term serial daters and the ones who just want dirty chat. Its totally depressing but I guess it only takes one man to be the right one.

Are you looking to settle down or to date?

Choose your site/app based on the outcome you want.

Be honest about what you want up front.

Take time on your profile. This is the first impression someone is going to have of you. Again, consider what you're trying to attract. If it's dating, make is snappy, easy to read and fun.
If you're looking for the one, well you don't want someone who's going to take half an interest. Take your time, pour your personality into it. Talk about what you are and mirror it with what you want.

Choose your pictures carefully. Don't load up with selfies. Have a selection of candid images (social ones), ones dictating a hobby if you have it, ones of you in a relaxed setting (you know the way a partner is eventually going to come to know you, sat down with a book and a glass of wine), throw in a flattering done up photo. Give them a range to browse. Attraction is a huge part of any kind of dating.

Don't accept an offer from just anyone who shows an interest. Don't be afraid to build a connection online first. You're far less likely to be ghosted by someone who has invested time and effort into getting to know you without any chance of immediate physical reward.

Most importantly, relax into it and let it be part of your life but not a focus. Frustration and desperation can seep into your messages. It's meant to be fun, not a chore. If you find yourself getting frustrated, take a break from it. Come back refreshed.

If you understand that a great proportion f old users are fakes, flakes, cheaters, weirdos, time wasters, sex seekers, and other assorted oddballs and that there's a (v) small percentage of actual potentials .. you'll get on much better.

Also old should only be one part of your dating "strategy".

The funniest, if that's the right word, ones are the ones who drop out of contact and then turn up months later, sending you a new message as someone they've never spoken to before. Can't even keep track of who they've been in contact with.

@YorkOrLucas just wanted to say I feel your pain having been ghosted twice in the last month after chatting for a decent amount of time. I think you need to be thick skinned and have multiple chats going on to avoid overinvesting. There's a dating thread on mumsnet relationships where you can sometimes get decent support as most are in the same boat.

Sometimes I just don't get it and mope about it but unfortunately not many other alternatives than OLD. I'm reasonably attractive, solvent, happy, little baggage but ghosting has just happened, and I have similar friends who have lots going for them and the same has happened. Try not to feel too despondent.