Positive break up stories please!

[StrongAgain15]

Morning..
I do have another post going but that's a bit "woe is me".
I am feeling devastated after separating with my Partner of 5 years a week ago. No children together but 3 between us from previous relationships.
I was so much better and stronger for the first few days.. but now? I've done nothing but cry for the last three days. I need to get some strength back as I can't go on feeling like this! I realise time is the game changer.. so I'm probably being too hopeful.
He was an absolute waste of space and treated me awfully. So I have no doubts that it's the right choice but it doesn't mean I'm not heartbroken.

Please post your positive stories? How did life improve for you?

Oh honey, you're in the worst phase of a break up. It took me a month to get to the point where I wasn't crying every day (6 years together, 1yo DS). On top of that my landlord served notice so I had to find somewhere new to live.

3 months after he left, I got myself a job (was a SAHM), found myself a new flat and here I am, almost 9 months later looking at him leaving as the catalyst for everything in my life falling into place. It's taken a long time to feel like me again and the sad part is I never realised how much he was putting me down. It also helps that he's proven time and again that DS isn't his priority so it made it very easy to get over him.

You can 100% use this to better yourself. Let yourself feel everything now because the sooner you allow yourself to grieve what you had, the sooner you can move on to bigger and better things ❤️

It does get better the moment we remove ourselves from a dysfunctional relationship. Although very silent and slow that we don't necessarily feel it. Statistically it can take 2/3 years to get over and move on from somebody. Not quite sure how it arrives at that time frame but its according to the information available. After the all my property was sold and an agreement reached I think I felt a lot more settled in myself and able to build my life again. 10 years on I'm a lot happier than I ever was during my marriage. One thing you learn is to never again settle for the things you once did during a relationship, you might not know what you want in a person until you meet them, but you definitely know what you don't want. There is definitely a happy life to be had beyond a breakdown, just difficult to wood through the trees at first.

Mumsnet webpage needs to include an edit feature...rather dated format!

Try to focus on things that give you joy!

Repurpose the time you used to spend with him, agonising about him, worrying about the relationship, pretzeling yourself to please him, et cetera.

Listen to music YOU like.
Work out without having to put up with stupid comments from him.
Discover your inner Picasso and start messing with acrylics.
Join Meetup - and make new friends.
Get on a bus and explore a new neighbourhood. Post-lockdown, obviously.
Learn to cook Thai food.
Get a cat.
Start growing Bonsai trees.

Whatever floats your boat!

My life has improved in so many ways, but I suppose the major one would just be how wonderful the feeling of being free is.

My only real breakup (apart from dating situations just fizzling out etc) consisted of me breaking his nose and running. I was a tearful mess for a while but now? Zero regrets and 100% happy that I did what I did - I escaped with my life and my health.

I haven't read your other thread so I don't know the circumstances of your breakup but you WILL look back at it and be 100% glad you did it. Just focus on going through the motions until then. It will happen sooner than you think.

It sounds as if on some level, your emotional needs were being fulfilled but also decimated by the negative behaviours on the flip side. Only time will tell if it is the right decision for you long term but it does sound like it was an unhealthy scenario detrimental to your wellbeing and it is difficult to argue that it is worth staying when things are like that.