So I told the miserable bad tempered bugger to leave but now I feel bad 😔

[LifeintheFASDlane]

Been with my husband for 34 years! Spent loads of that time asking myself if I should end it and now I have told him to go (again) I feel so bad
Honestly, he is the most miserable bastard to ever walk this earth, moans over every little thing, is always on at the kids and basically is permanently miserable so why do I feel so bad when I tell him to leave?!?
Last week we went on a walk & I fell whilst he was trying to help me down the embankment, I thought it was hilarious but he was like "ffs get up" and went in such a mood over it but I thought it was so funny!
He is so grumpy with the kids & yesterday at Asda I watched him have a go at a taxi driver because he was in the wrong place & very slightly obstructing DHs way...he denied this but I saw him
He works hard, is really good around the house, helps with the kids but my.god he is one miserable moaning bastard and I can't stand it so why oh why can't I ende it?!

Living with someone like that spoils your life. People who can't have a laugh....who moan, complain and snap.

It's not worth it! You only get one life. How old are the kids? What did your husband do/say when you told him to go? Where is he?

I got rid of my fun sponge. Best thing ever.

You feel bad because you're a nice person! And also, anything ending after that amount of time is sad regardless of the circumstances. It doesn't mean that it's not the right thing to do. You can know it's what you want and also feel upset about it. There is a grieving process - for what could have been, for what you wished for the relationship in the beginning, for the kids. That's OK. It's not going to be total elation the moment he's gone. Most people find they feel flat and lonely for a while before seeing the benefits of single life.

It does sound incredibly draining to live with, so it sounds like the right decision.

Sounds like he turned into a mood hoover and that's exhausting to live with. Also sounds like you made the right decision for your children, so hold onto that if you're feeling weak.

Maybe due to how he was brought up. X

He’s a fun sponge and he’s ruining your life. You know you’ll be better off once he’s gone.

Could you compromise by staying married but living apart? My dream scenario...

Miserable men are usually not getting enough sex !

Men just get grumpy as they get older especially when in a long term relationship .It takes a spell of single life for them to smarten their ideas up .

Wow at @skyla2005 comment.

Has he always been this way? The whole 34 years? Has it crept up over the years? Just thinking whether it might be his personality or whether something is bothering him. Have you ever had a conversation with him about it? How old are you both?

He does sound like a fun sponge though. My Dh blew flour in my face the other day whilst he was hiding behind the kitchen door. I got him back last night by face planting him his own ice cream. We are so childish.

Just sounds like you are different people. You are fun and like a laugh (even if it’s at your own expense). He just want to plod through life letting people know they piss him off

34 years is a real accomplishment. So, he is probably getting a bit old, then? Maybe 60s?

Does he suffer from chronic pain? That can make anyone grumpy. Or has he always been so negative?

@Skyla2005 - what stupid, childish and twattish response..

Who really wants to have sex with a miserable bastard?

How old are the kids?
I hate fun-suckers!
They literally suck the joy out of everything.
34 years!?
You've done your time OP.
Time now for you.
To live a happy and peaceful life!
One of happiness and joy.

You are miserable because you are breaking a habit.

After 34 years he's become as engrained as smoking or drinking every evening or eating too much. He and enduring his miserable moods have become habitual to you. Don't they say it takes six weeks to break a habit?

Give it six weeks. See how you feel then (I am betting you will feel much better). Why do some men do this? They can be the life and soul of the party and then they wake up one morning (usually at around 35) and they've turned into their dad.

Hmm, Skyla2005 , cos men that are miserable bastards are so attractive and sexy. 🤨

Nothing gets a woman more in the mood than the idea of 'duty sex', just to keep him happy.

Good luck to you, OP.