totally confused...

[brainsoutthewindow]

I need some advice - in fact I know what I'm going to be told and I know what I have to do but I just have to get this out and I can't tell anyone in RL.

I have feelings for someone at my work. When I say feelings I mean the feeling you get in your stomach like when you/I first met DH. I really don't want to keep thinking about him and wish to god I could get him out of my head. I try to avoid him then I dream about him and can't stop thinking about him. As silly as it sounds I keep wanting to be put off liking him.

Anyone been here, how can I stop this? I'm not thinking of embarking on an affair but just want to get him out of my head.

why cant you just enjoy the crush? If you're truly not thinking of trying to take it further, then just enjoy the fluttering until it wears off (which it will because that's what happens with crushes when you dont want a relationship - as you've stated)

its fine to have a little fantasy is it not as long as you don't act on it? (prepares to be shot down in flames).

Its driving me crazy though, I feel like a lovesick teenager, my tummy actually hurts when I'm around him. This sounds so shallow but he is not the good looking big personality type, just average office guy but he makes me smile and I just love being around him, even three minutes in the kitchen making a cup of tea makes my day

let him make your day, have a secret smile and leave it at that

It doesn't seem as bad anymore meely, suppose there is nothing wrong with that, I don't think about it until I'm at home and I feel guilty but I have never done anything to encourage him, never ever. He would have absoloutley no idea about this, I've never even confided in my close work mates. I have even politely refused the christmas party.

absolutely nothing wrong with someone making you smile.

I still think back wistfully to a trip to tesco i had recently where a rather fit pharmacist sold me some medised and 'smiled' at me.....he was a lot younger than me, so i just smiled back, thinking 'you have no idea kid!' but it cheered me up no end......

funny isn't it, it all started when he opened a door for me, he is very well mannered and if DH opened a door it would be for him to walk through lol! maybe its just that little bit of attention.

Just be a bit careful. I had this once and turned out the feelings were mutual. All got a bit nasty and out of control

(On a + note I couldn't eat for thinking of him and lost loads of weight )

well if it makes the day go quicker at work that's a good thing isn't it. I don't think a bit of flirting hurts anyone as long as that is all it is.

Message withdrawn

Why not over indulge yourself and your crush will die of boredom? Basically spend all day at work daydreaming about said bloke, imagine everything you want: it will all get a bit repetative, then you'll start daydreaming about being in your jim jams on a sunday morning sharing papers, then you'll start daydreaming about watching tv on a night, then you'll start daydreaming about having a bath without him wanting to use bog, then you'll get bored stiff of thinking about him and crush will turn to seething hatred for no reason at all!!