Advice - Leaving an abusive partner

[littleacceb]

Hi all. My friend has been in a horrendous relationship for over ten years and has finally begun to make arrangements to leave him once lockdown is lifted. By his previous behaviour in similar situations, we can safely assume that he’s going to become violent towards her. The police have never been involved.

They have no shared children, only two dogs, but she has a lot of precious items (from before the relationship) that she’d like to take. Small things like jewellery can obviously be squirrelled our, but the larger items will require removals.

He does not bother to work and has no friends or family, so moving her things out while he’s out of the house is virtually impossible.

I’ve heard of specific organisations in the US and Australia where removal men will help women leave abusive partners and offer a sort of security function while they are removing their belongings.

Do any of you know of any such organisation here? Or what would you recommend?

I don't think there is any such organisation here. The police can be called though if he starts to get violent.

The larger items, are they joint belongings? Because that's where things might start to get trickey

I think the police will assist with this type of thing - might be worth getting hold of the local PCSO for a chat. I know my old one was very helpful when I had problems with my ex needing to collect some things.

How about she finds somewhere to live, organises the separation as best she can then, on the day she is to move into her new place arranges a removal company to pack her stuff and take it her place. He's not going to attack her in front of other people.

You could be there as well. If he kicks off then dial 999.

Has she explored Women's Aid website and helplines for advice. Definitely needs to gather key paperwork together and account numbers etc maybe keep in handbag or in her car if she has one with an overnight bag. The key thing is planning in advance. Also if she can keep notes of incidents. And make sure where she moves, police notified so can do drive pasts in the days that follow. Can she draw up an inventory in preparation. Does she have, for example, friends at work who could help move?