New man, red flags?

[Setty5r]

I’ve been seeing someone for a few months. He works in a lab 9-5 at the moment but has done two local shifts on a corona ward. The other day I heard him telling a friend that he was ‘crazy busy’ on the corona ward, that he had been working nights and it was non stop, he was exhausted etc. This is obviously all untrue.

He speaks with his mother daily on FaceTime for about an hour a time (he calls her rather than vice versa). Initially I was ok with this and thought it was nice but recently he’s been talking about farting in bed with me and telling his mum about it !!!

He’s 37 in two weeks and has only had one 14 month relationship since university. I thought maybe he hadn’t found the right person but I am now second guessing what might have gone on, obviously could be nothing but seems unusual.

At Easter id joked that the Easter bunny might make an arrival for him with some treats and he said very seriously please don’t do that as I have no intention of getting you anything so it will be weird if you do.

I have been known to be blind to red flags that would have been obvious to others from the start. Would you continue with this?

Never EVER date someone you feel sorry for!

This is their game.

He simply sounds like a self-centred man child. It's not cute.

He knows what he wants and if I was you I would ask yourself does he support your wants or life?
Because that's all that really matters in a relationship, are you both giving each other the same support.

Or did you just not bother with Easter cause he said so?... it's maybe small now but in time your the one stuck at home because he doesn't want you to work.

Mister I’m not sure that’s true because not everything is perfect all the time. I don’t expect perfection.

I never said perfection and I never said all the time.

I'm married to the best man ever, honestly, he's brilliant and I can't believe my luck, especially when I compare him to some of the utter douchebags you read about on here. He still isn't perfect though, nobody is!!

I maintain that the first few months of a relationship (at least) should be pretty amazing though, or it never will be.

Good lord. I was suspect at working in a lab amidst this virus. What are the odds?

OP, you're unsure about the relationship and you aren't loved up and super happy.

So leave!

You don't have to have an officially approved "reason" to do so. You can leave a relationship for any reason at any time. I wish I had realised that sooner!

It's no big deal, you don't like that he lies casually and easily, some stuff he does grosses you out and some other stuff is weird and puts you off.

That's ok. Why are you dragging it out and ruminating over it?

Break up with him!

Good lord. I was suspect at working in a lab amidst this virus. What are the odds?

@Windmillwhirl I'm not sure what you mean in the context of the thread He works in a lab but was lying about what he was actually doing there to make it sound more important.

Unless you mean you think he might be lying about working there at all? Wouldn't put it past him as none of what he says can be believed for sure.

That's a fair point too actually, he could be lying to op about his job in the first place. Maybe he is a Walter Mitty level fantasist.

There's a reason his longest relationship has been 14 months

He sounds odd, and lying is a trait I can't forgive.

The killer would be the too close relationship with his mother but I wouldn't like the lying either whether or not it ever escalates. He just sounds like a bit of an all round oddball. Keep looking.

I wouldn't put it past him to have been lying about his job. He sounds up for lying about anything, and it's all about making him look better.

Nothing about him sounds good. Dump.

Run for the hills.
The fact you're listing these issues here is sign enough.
He sounds immature and emotionally infantile. The farting thing is just gross.