Cheating

[sunrise14]

Hi, I’ve never been in here before so I don’t really know what to do and would just love some advice/ help: here goes... My fiancé left me on the 2nd March after I found out he was cheating on me with a colleague at work( well he is her boss) he is 48 she is 33. She is young no kids( I have 3 age 13,17,19)he has always been a man that wants to be younger than he is. I am nearly 45. We met 6 years ago, he proposed to me in dec 2018. We were going to a wedding fayre this January and we were getting married in October. He sent me a valentines card and was still telling me he loved me every day even though he was with her. My help is I just can’t seem to get over it, I haven’t slept a full nights sleep since he left. I’m on antidepressants and all I do is think about him every day. He does contact me and ask how I am and how r the kids and says I can’t wait to meet up with u and miss u even though he is with her now. Is he playing with me? We were going to take our dog for a walk and talk. I am still in love with him and he does say sometimes he loves me in the txt and has said I’m not making any promise to u..any advice on what to do please. Sorry I know I have wrote so much but just wanted u to know how it is. All my friends have said he looked so in love with u

I'm sorry OP but he is a total prick. He's completely messing with your head. Block him and don't let him get to you any more. Look for chump lady on Facebook and read her posts. She has some great advice in this situation

Block him on everything and plan your life without him.
He only loves himself.

He's playing with you, keeping you as a back-up booty call. Stop contact and grieve the relationship, and move on with your life.

Block him. He's messing with your emotions and he isn't worth it

He's a dirty lying cheat, but it's best you discovered before marriage.

Don't let him ruin your chance of future peace and happiness....he's not bothering with you and he's living his life just fine.... you should do the same.

Show your kids how to get over a cheater and move on with your life positively.

Thanku everybody, I just think I am living in hope that he will come back. He works in sales so he knows how to charm people and he probably did it to her but she knew we were getting married and he has photos of us on his desk and his team were all coming to our wedding. Why do men do this? I have found out that from his 20,s he has been doing this all his life getting with somebody and then when the honeymoon period goes he just walks out and leaves. How can somebody be so romantic with me though and write in my valentines card this year that I am his world when he was getting on with her?? Would it of ended or would he just left anyway if I didn’t find out about the affair. I do know he is a born liar as even his mum said to me after ( they thought he had changed with me as he looked so in love) I say all this but he is a very kind romantic man and was absolutely great with my children(13,17,19)and they loved him so much and called him there stepdad already and was always willing to help anybody. I do think he needs help as why does he do this, why does he hurt people that love him so much?

You literally just explained that he has a pattern of behaviour where he romances women and then loses interest and dumps them. Do you think he didn't tell them he loved them and give them soppy cards etc? Of course he did. He's as deep as a puddle.

It's unfortunate that you believed you were the woman to change him.

Who knows why he hurts people? You'll never ever find out.

Take the positive that you found out now before you got married.
She'll soon get dumped when he gets bored an moves on to the next piece.

Don't go for a walk with him. Tell him to fuck off instead.

He's a piece of shit. And he is treating you like a piece of shit.

Don't you think you deserve better?

Would you want your daughter to be with someone like this? No you would not.

He’s a headfuck OP! Just block him although I know it’s dreadfully hard to accept you need to do that

Get yourself some online relationship counselling.
Relate is still offering services online.
You need to reconcile with yourself that you will never know the truth of why he acted the way he did.
Don't feed his ego by contacting him and going for walks with him, instead feed your own self esteem and look after yourself.

He's stringing you along, cheated on you with her, now will maybe chest on he'd with you. Sounds like he likes a couple of women in the go.

Don't meet him, is my advice.

Getting into a serious relationship with you, getting to.knie your children well, getting engaged a d planning a wedding, and then doing this ..... Despicable.

He doesn't even have youth to blame, he's nearly half a century old FFS.

His own mother days he's a liar (?)

You're well rid.

(cheat on her with you).

And I know it's a term that's overused lately, but just have a look at some of the literature around 'narcissists' and how to survive them. It may help as a lot of what you say describes a narc to a 'T'.