Cheating

[Azxo]

Hi I'm new to this so please bear with me
I've been married for 3 years and we dated for a year before that my husband has a promiscuous past but when we met he stopped everything even going out without me even expecting it let alone asking him I was 20 and he (23) was my first boyfriend
My friends and his friends used to hang out as a group and my ex friend added him on Snapchat used to message him generally not knowing he's sitting next to me sending kiss emojis and drawing Willie's and stuff on Snapchat silly things and he would save them and show them to me where as she would save everything else but not her kissie emojis so I stopped speaking to her and thought he was honest as he showed me things I wouldn't have known about otherwise fast forward 1 year after marriage she gets in contact with me saying don't know why you've cut me out etc and then told me 3 weeks before me and him got married he kissed her and she said she rejected him begged her not to tell me when I found out I was heartbroken was very close to ending it he convinced me to make it work and we did he was always transparent with his phone social media gave me passwords even before he kissed her which because I had trust issues I would always check and never found anything

It took me about 2 years to really stop thinking about that often and being hurt and trusting him, February this year and I'm 8 month pregnant (after losing a baby in April last year due to sepsis and ending up in icu)
And we have a bug argument over something petty and he leaves the house takes his clothes and goes to stay with a friend of his next day I'm getting a horrible gut feeling and also had a dream about him cheating brushed it off as insecurity and thought he just needs to cool down and he'll come home and apologise that feeling didn't go away all day so I logged into his social media didn't find anything until I got to Snapchat and saw a message from a woman and location saved I called him and asked him whose that woman he started denying and locked me out of sc by changing password I already screnshotted so added her off my own account and messaged her she told me they had just started talking that day off his friends badoo account and it was all sex talk she sent me screenshots and that he added her on sc and video chatted and he sent a dick pik after he came home finally admitted when confronted with proof only found out weeks after daughter was born that she was naked in the bath him asking to see her bits she showed her boobs and talking about what they'd do to each other then when call ended he sent the pik after that they didn't speak a few hours later is when I checked his sc.
Again he's begging for forgiveness but ever since we've been up and down he's trying his best promised it was the once will never happen again etc she was a older woman late 30s and now I'm in pieces so insecure and hurt again crying my eyes and snapping at him constantly I need some advice on how to move forward I really don't want to be a single mum to newborn and don't want her to have a broken home like the one I've come from but I can't seem to get over this

I'm sorry about this OP. Seems like a very difficult thing to deal with, with a newborn hug

Please know he has disrespected you by cheating twice and the more you tolerate this, the more he is going to do it. He will do it again. You have to know that in order to make a good decision for yourself and your baby.

Please be strong.

He sounds very immature and I don't see him changing just yet. I know you don't want to be a single mum, but he's shown you who he is.

I mean, before you were getting married he was trying to kiss another woman.

You'll always be looking over your shoulder...he only admits when confronted with proof.

Even if you are thinking about giving him a third chance...don't make it easy. He needs to know that losing you is likely.

Thankyou for the replies you're right I should leave but im so insecure and scared to leave and I do still love him maybe if I had ever been with someone else it would be easier to leave. It might not work with us and I might find out something else that tips me over the edge. This has brought back the pain of the last time and I'm struggling to cope and don't have anyone I can turn to.

When you stay with a serial cheat, the message you send is that it's not a dealbreaker for you. In which case why wouldn't he do it again.

He will just promise not to and do it. Do you seriously think these are the only 2 times? Or just the times you know about?

I think he's not ready for a serious committed relationship like marriage...he's not grown up enough.

Let him be a dad to your daughter, that doesn't necessarily mean you two have to be a couple.

If you were sending pictures of your bits to another man, do you think a little begging would have him take you back?

He was a player and he still is. If you're planning on staying with him, buckle up for a bumpy ride....he's not done with his player days and while you still be him...he will use it to his advantage and keep on cheating.

This isn't cheating after years of marriage when things couod have gotten dull...he's cheating on a young wife...what hope do you have in 5/10 years to come.

Have a read around this website www.survivinginfidelity.com

Leave op. It's that simple

Leave.

The site Sandy linked to looks good, This is another forum where I've found everyone really accepting and supportive community.affairhealing.com/?forum It's not as busy as MN but they're really nice.

Think of it this way if your daughter came up to years to come with the say situation as you are in now . What would you say to your daughter ? It’s hard we all know that love is hard but this man didn’t learn the first time he wasn’t thinking of you or your family he was being a very selfish lad . He wasn’t sorry about it he’s sorry cause he got caught he has no respect for unfortunately. It’s not hard being a single mum you will be great hardest thing to is making that first step to leave realise your worth so much more then this and believing in yourself there is a decent person out there for you. You just haven’t crossed paths yet. Trust me when you leave a man like him he will realise how much he’s messed up and that he had very loving caring wonderful women. End of day you need to think if you give him another chance there has to be boundaries rules and to make it very clear if he disrespects you in anyway that the relationship will be over and he will have to leave for ever cause your not a mug . Good luck with whatever you choose I hope it all works out op . P.s He’s a very stupid person

Thanks I'm going to have a look on both those sites I wish it was as simple as leaving for me but everytime I try he says and does all the right things and I fall for it maybe because I don't really want to leave I want to try and forgive I'm a fool I know and I'll probably regret it if it wasn't for my daughter I really think this would've been it we've had a long talk tonight with me wanting to end it and him begging to let him try and fix it and keep our family together.could it be that he would have learned his lesson this time and not do it again probably not I know but I'm willing to let him try I know if he does it again it'll be the end of us

Think of how many times you've caught him and he swore he wouldn't do it again. Yet he did.
You've only been married a short time and look how many times he has cheated.

What would you tell your daughter if she was with a man who kept cheating on her?

He will cheat again. It's just a matter of time and he probably has send dik pics and sexted with other women. You just didn't catch him doing it.

At some point you'll have to draw a line in the sand and say this is it because this is no way for you to live your life.