Really worried about a friend

[totallymortified]

I can't tell if I'm being overprotective because we're so close or whether this is something to worry about. I don't plan in doing anything, it's her choice and I'll support her no matter what but I need to talk to someone about it and I'd never tell anyone in real life.
My friend has started a lockdown relationship (not even going there with breaking lockdown) with a local dad. They are both in the process of divorcing. This started on Saturday, since then they have spent 4 out of 5 nights together, with her sneaking him into the house one night when she had the kids. They are talking about a future together and telling their respective ex partners. He has sent her pictures of large cars to fit all the children in. She tells me he's very vulnerable and has been in prison for fraud. She would normally run a mile from anyone needy but with him she doesn't mind at all.
He's already moved in a toothbrush and some other bits.
Is this all happening really quickly or am I being overprotective because I don't want to see her hurt?
Seeing her smiling face is so lovely and I really hope that shes found someone who will treat her well, but she says she doesn't want anything complicated and this seems anything but.

If what you posted is true, you have every reason to be worried.

Blimey. It does sound out of character for her. She's lonely and he's convenient? Obviously so hard/impossible to meet anyone new just now... advise her not to make any rash decisions. Emotions are high just now. I think people can get carried away...

I'm really hoping its lockdown madness! Either that or the perfect story to tell in years to come. Apparently he's staying for 3 nights in a row next week. She did manage to say no to him coming over this evening but that's because she's exhausted and can't keep up!!

Would she listen if you carefully worded some advice about the situation? Sounds like a recipe for disaster. She's taking risks even letting him in, given the current situation. Not a lot you can do, but she's not setting herself up for anything good here.

She tells me he's very vulnerable and has been in prison for fraud.

Thats so contradictory, its sounds like she's repeating something he's told her without really registering what she is saying. I'd be worried about where she keeps her cards.

Huge red flags, ugh.

I would have to have a frank conversation with her if I were you. "I love seeing you so happy and I am only saying this because I feel a bit worried - I won't go on about it but I wanted to just gently mention a couple of concerns..." and an open conversation from there.

Don't be accusatory of him (as he's cleverly already got her convinced of his victim status) or patronising to her, but I think as a friend you need to bring up your concerns once honestly and then if she chooses to go ahead it's her prerogative but she knows she can come to you about any further issues if she wants to.

Don't damn him as it will push her away. It's a tough one I know and you sound like a lovely friend. Doesn't help shes being extra irresponsible with lockdown!!

Been online chatting and have really cut back as a lot of the blokes sound like this guy. Desperate to met up and bored at home in a rented flat or room.

Thanks. Part of me really hoped you'd all tell me I was making something out of nothing and to mind my own business.
He's coming for lunch today apparently while the kids are at their dads and then again this evening after the kids are in bed. He's already turned up with flowers this morning.I've never heard her like this. I know the early stages release a rush of hormones but its like shes on drugs. (She is most definitely not!)
Would I be in fantasy land in saying that maybe he's just a really lovely man that wants to take care of her?

Yes, he has her convinced his is not a threat - vulnerable. And he has a conviction for fraud.
Plus the whole breaking lockdown thing.

Yes you know that would be fantasy land. Partly because an actually lovely man wouldn't be visited her family home in secret during lockdown. And a an actually lovely man is much less likely than others to have been in prison for fraud and continue to paint himself as a vulnerable victim.

She'll be pregnant soon by the sounds of the love bombing.

Agree with pp, a lovely man won't be risking at least 4 different households (assuming the kids are all moving between their parents) at this time.
Anyone who has a criminal record is a red flag IMHO, just be there for your friend.

I'm trying to ignore the criminal record, everyone deserves a second chance, it's the speed and love bombing that really bother me. He's a committed dad and clearly adores his kids.
I've never been in a position where I can see someone I care for making what I think is a huge mistake and there is nothing I can do. It's so hard!!

You'renot ignoring his criminal record, you have mentioned he has been to prison.
It's actually quite hard to get a prison sentence in the UK (less hard if you are a woman as the bar is lower for us ).
I don't think I would knowingly date someone who had been to prison - unless it was for protesting or something like that.

Criminals are notoriously good at love bombing and of course at deception.

Oh my goodness, love bombing is exactly it. He's all over her constantly, messaging, turning up to bring things round, wanting to make long term plans. He wants her to meet his mum!! They're going shopping for a car for him at the weekend.
She is completely taken with him, he tells her she's a revelation and everything he's ever wanted. I'm just trying to sit back and let her get on with it. I don't want to fall out with her and that's exactly what will happen if I question anything at the moment.