what should i do, if anything?

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dh and ds seem to always play what i class as annoying games of hitting and kicking. Dh instigates it all but ds likes the attention. Ds was lying on the floor just now and dh kicked him in the stomach. Ds started to cry and wail and dh wont apologise or even comfort him. Ds got up and whacked dh. I dont feel minded to tell him off as I personally dont blame him but also find it disrespectful. I tell them not to play these games as they aggravate me and always end in tears. should i just ignore them both>

Goodness. I'd be annoyed at this. Does your DH think it makes him more of a boy taking hits???

I would be furious at it!

how old is your son ? your son might think that hitting and kicking is part of everyday life and might do it when he is at school, if you dh has hurt your son then he should aplogise and make it better, he sounds like a bully

i find it bizarre that ds likes the attention.

this would imply that it is the only form of attention he gets from his father, which is far from healthy.

if a stranger came up and kicked him in the stomach, i don't think you would be so dismissive of it.

stand up to dh so that ds knows that someone is looking out for him.

Kick your DH in the nuts and tell him that you were only playing.

Seriously, your DH sounds like he needs to grow up.

I've heard a couple of mums say this about their dhs. It usually stems from not knowing how to play - they've never played with their own dads, or if they have it's been this type of rough-housing. Or maybe this is how they played with their brothers. Usually they get their dcs either to the point of crying or totally wound up. Either way mum has to deal with the fall-out.

And of course your dh thinks he might be 'toughening him up'.

You need to step in. Your ds is loving this b/c he loves his dad and wants his attention, even though it is unhealthy. The problem is your ds isn't learning a healthy way of playing and will replicate this at school, which will make him unpopular and could lead to him being excluded.

Try getting dh to play other physical games - if you have a garden kicking a ball about is good - if not then games where dh pretends to be a horse are good. My dh loves to show off his football skills to our dcs.

There is a good book called Playful Parenting which will give lots of ideas - can't remember the author but you can get it via Amazon.

This is wrong and it will potentially get your DS into trouble with friends at school and cause him problems he couldn't have anticipated, I really think you need to put a full stop to it. I can't imagine its going to be easy and I wish you all the luck in the world sorting it.

thanks

I get soooooo frustrated by their behaviour. Dh doesnt give ds much attention as you've rightly pointed out. Naturally ds doesnt like being hit but enjoys the playful interaction with his father. I have them on many many occasions not to play like this as I invariably am drawn into it when the tears start as dh then buggers off inm a mood

How old is ds? It's not really their behaviour, it is ds responding to dh's behaviour.

I think dh needs building up. What was his own childhood like? I think you need to suggest ideas to dh as to ways he can play with ds that are still blokey but not dangerous. Then when dh plays football or whatever big him up for it.

Also remember dh could hurt ds, and you could find yourself being investigated by Social Services.

ds is 11 nearly.

good point about SS trinityrhino . i think dh's own father used to do this with him but he;s a nob anyway