suitable timeframe to contact an ex

[Bestda]

Just appreciate a womans advice/POV
We broke up in Feb after 4 yrs (her decision). She seemed adamant to move on and blocked me immediately (I hadnt been annoyingly or constantly texting) which seemed rather harsh and a bit OTT? - although we had started to drift apart a bit over the last 6 months (distance etc).
I decided to give her some space, but gave in and wrote an email begining of April which she said made her cry but then was neutral but also angry in parts (why are you askingif im ok - you're a 'stranger' now??), so I've kind of come to the conclusion its over and she's moved on (which i havent yet, but getting there). Was going to drop a brief email asking how she is doing and hope everythings ok with Coronavirusas as its been a month. But not sure if i should, or i should wait 2, 4, 6 months (or never) to contact her again? The break up was fairly amicable and not nasty and (in my mind) 4 years is a long time to be close to someone and then suddenly pull up the drawbridge? Even if she has moved on its not unreasonable to still care, but perhapse i should just keep my thoughts to myself?
I was originally going to give it 6 months, but im sure i'll be well forgotten by then. I have no idea if shes met someone new, but maybe as she didnt want to be on her own, she may have met someone more local.
Any advice? Everything I've read says i shouldnt contact her, but it goes against human nature to sit and do nothing when you want to do something. But I also realise if she wanted to talk to me, she would, so perhapse i should just forget it?
Living on my own in this lockdown isnt helping. I have oto much time to think!
Thanks

I know it's difficult but no contact really is the best thing to do.

Try to look forward not back, make plans for the future.

Take up a hobby, something that concentrates your mind.

She's shown she's not interested so believe her.

Don't contact her again! You sound borderline harassing. Leave her alone!

What do you hope to achieve by talking to her is what you need to ask yourself, the answer as to what you need to do lies there. What do you want? Expect?

I do not want exes to contact me if we are not friends, nothing has changed and nothing will change. There isn’t much point raking over old ground if she wants to move on is there?

She’s made it clear she wants a clean break so stop trying to find ways around it. I mean that kindly. You have already tried once to make contact and she was angry with you. I don’t think much will have changed.

No contact best.

Tempting as it is, try to resist. You in a year's time will thank the you of now if you can resist!

I would echo everyone saying don’t contact her. I understand what you are saying, however you have to ask yourself what you hope will come from it. Do you hope to get back together?
I had a relatively amicable breakup with my ex (his decision) and while I have no ill feelings and wish him well, I have no interest in hearing from him again. I certainly wouldn’t contact him. I think given that in your situation she was the one to end it, you need to respect that and try to move on. I know it’s hard, especially right now cos everything is strange and there’s no chance to even go out and try to meet other people to distract yourself! Maybe see if you can reconnect with some old friends for now, contact them to see how they are getting on. Good luck.

Don't contact her. I can't really see why you want to, other than you are thinking about her too much in lockdown.

Leave it.

FFS, leave the woman alone. She doesn't want you in her life. Why is this so hard to accept? Contacting her again will be nothing but harassment.

It was clearly over in Feb. Yet there you were in April only 'kind of' coming to the conclusion it is over.

She blocked you in Feb - a clear indication she didn't want contact. Perhaps because she knew you hadn't accepted it? But less then 3 months later you sent such an emotional email it made her cry - so hardly a quick how are you, do you want to be friends? She was angry with that unrequested contact and less than a month later you want to contact her again - regardless of what she wants. You're plotting a suitable timeline when she's made it clear she doesn't want it. Stop trying to force contact on her.

You need to stop thinking this will ever be a good idea. Time to accept it's really absolutely over. She has already moved on. Now find a way for you to do so too.

If no children are involved, or finances which need to be separated- the simple answer is never. She's made her decision and you don't have the right to continue contact when it's obviously not welcome. I'm sorry you're still hurt, but you have no reason at all in the future to contact her, and shouldn't assume you do.

Yeah don't contact her. Once a relationships ended with someone I don't want to be friends with them at all. It's too difficult. I'd hate them contacting me. Get yourself on an online dating site and chat to some new women on there. Onwards and upwards!

Got an ex like this complete cocklodger though seeing his emails asking how I am makes my skin crawl. I can’t stand it and makes me angry. Just leave her alone and don’t contact. She will look down at you and it will only annoy her

I had friends at university who had a brief relationship - about a term? She decided to end it. He was obviously disappointed about this but acknowledged that things were over. What he was completely unable to do was understand that she didn't want to Stay Friends. Even with everyone telling him not to try to talk to her, he insisted that it was only natural to still care for someone and he hated being at odds with anyone and wanted to get back to comfortable terms.

Of course, the result was that she refused to speak to him ever again, which was both exactly what he was trying to avoid and excruciating for everyone else.

Your ex blocked you so that you wouldn't contact her - and you contacted her in a different way. That's why she was angry. You completely ignored her wishes (and yes, I know she's ignoring your wishes to talk, but this is the way it works in a break-up).

The suitable timeframe to ask an ex how they are getting on is a couple of decades later when you're both with someone else. Caring about her is not your job any more.

Do not contact her again!!! You are harassing this woman and she does not want any contact with you! She blocked you for a reason! That wasn't her saying 'oh but I still want you to message me every few months'! How much more obvious does it need to be?!
Honestly you sound creepy (though I appreciate you may not realise) and, if I was your ex, I would contact the police if you continued to try to communicate with me.

OK - Thats pretty unaminous. Thanks for your replies. Its pretty much as i thought.

I will not contact her as you all suggest and try and work on getting over this myself.