Having a third child with my younger partner

[Mumsaway]

Bit of background..met my current partner when he was 20 and I was 30, been together for 4 years now, in a very loving committed relationship and live together along with my two children from my previous marriage DD15 and DS13. When we got together we were open from the start about having a child together and both agreed that we would like to start ttc before I was 35. I suppose what I’m asking is what you think of this family dynamic as it is not a situation I ever imagined myself in but here I am! Thanks

I think you are best positioned to answer this, OP. Everything we say will be pure conjecture, or our own stories - neither of which is relevant.

are you married? will you drop back on work to do childcare? If yes to the second question then you need to be married to protect yourself. Do you want more than one child? If not the new one will effectively be an only child, is that what you want?

Can you afford a third child, do you have space for a third child, do you want a third child?

If the answer to all 3 is yes then go for it.

I always thought I wanted a last minute baby when I reached late 30s as I started young with my first batch of kids, but now that I am getting closer to that age the thought horrifies me. For me personally not the idea in general so it all comes down to how you feel.

how is he? is he mature for his age?
how was the relationship till now?

How will your teenagers react to it? Do they have a good relationship with your partner? Your eldest is coming up to GCSEs - how will you manage supporting them through the stress while dealing with the pregnancy/newborn stage? Will they feel pushed out? How will you manage them going out/increasing social lives/late nights as they're getting older, while juggling a small child?

Thanks for the replies. I’m not married and tbh wasn’t planning on getting married again - went through a very messy and emotional divorce with my DC father. I do want another child, I just worry about how different it would be having a child in my mid thirties when I had my first in my teens and yes it worries me that they would effectively be an only child. My partner is very mature for his age, has a good job and a great relationship with my children. We are a great team and I always saw myself having a child with him, he would be an amazing Father. I suppose now we are discussing starting ttc my panic mode has kicked in!

Can you afford childcare? Could you drop to part time working? Do you have the bedroom space? What car space do you have? Can you fit a car seat in the back with two teenagers? - my brain dump of practical questions

oh that is another question. Will you afford childcare for the baby and uni top ups for the eldest.

Thats what ultimately put me off, that and the nappies and what not. No way o could afford to pay childcare and help with uni at the same time.

My colleague is supporting her son frw uni, he gets the bare minimum in government support due to her income so she feels its her duty to help. As would I in that situation.

wow terrible spelling in that post but I think you get the gist of it. I have a new phone I am trying to get the hang of.

We do have the space for another child but would probably have to get a new car..hadn’t thought of the two teens and a baby seat! I would probably got back to working full time after maternity leave but yes that would mean childcare costs and potentially uni fees ect. I really should of thought about things more practically I suppose when discussing children