Why do I crumble at weekends?

[Balalava]

This has been going on for a couple of years. I hold it together all week, going to work, school and nursery drop-offs, life is much more stressful than the weekend. I look forward to a more relaxed way of life at the weekend.
Then it comes to it and probably 2/4 I'm inconsolable mess and have to spend much of it in bed feeling drained, teary and depressed.
Bit of background:
I have 2 young children, work part-time in a job I like, I'm in an unhappy marriage. I like having plans more than I don't and yet crave the relaxed freedom of weekends. But struggle with the freedom.
Perhaps I'm feeling unfulfilled and the weekends are casting light over this. I don't know.
I need to do something about it though, I can't keep spending weekends like this and it is happening regardless of lockdown.

Having time to listen to yourself brings it out. We keep busy all week and don't let ourselves think and feel. I've had this many times on weekends. The bit to zone in on is "unhappy marriage". How can you be relaxed and feeling OK with downtime if you're not happy with the person you're with?

Is it suddenly having time to think? Or realisation that your marriage isn’t as good as you’d like. Or maybe you get your hopes up that it’ll be better and it isn’t? All guesses from me.

You are building weekends up it to something bigger than they are. There are plenty of them. Each one can be different and they don't have to be perfect or even near perfect.

Do you want to have something that you always do at the weekend like go for a long walk or go out for breakfast? I've a friend who does something every single weekend. Not on both days but an activity every weekend. She gets ideas from groupon and books everything in advance. She's got four children. Mini golf, cycling, cat cafe, dry ski slope, friends-fest, camping.

Your unhappy marriage is the problem here though I think.

Is your spouse around with you all weekend, but during the week you see much less of them and so can avoid interactions that show you the marriage is unhappy?

You have recently had children with someone you don't want to be with. The weekend gives you time to think about that.