can I force him to leave?

[Temples]

My relationship has hit the rocks and I am considering all my optoins. WE have been together for 6 years but never married. We have 2 kids. I own the house (it was mine before we met)
If we split up I want him to leave . He can see the kids as much as he wants - I would never stand between the kids and him ( he is a good dad but a bad "husband"
I think he may refuse to go.
Can I MAKE him go? Is there a legal process I would have to go through?
The thought of all this is making me ill.

Temples - sounds terrible. I'm no legal expert, but I'm sure you can a) simply change the locks when he's out and put all his things in the garage or something or b) get a court order. For the latter you should get down to the Citizens advice bureau for advice (they'll also be able to let you know what his rights are as I know there was talk recently of treating couples who have lived together as married couples).

Both options will be horrible, so I hope it doesn't come to that - best of luck.

I'm not sure of the law myself, but it seems that if the house is solely in your name (especially before the marriage) to me you should be able to have him leave. I'm not exactly sure of this though. Sorry for your situation.

As you haven't married he probably has very few rights. Certainly none with regard to the house if it is solely in your name. The children are legally your responsibility also if you are not married. The law gives unmarried fathers very few rights.

Indeed Cam and it's pretty outrageous. If people stopped getting married, in protest, it would help.

I'd seek clarification - there's such a thing in law as a common law wife - is there a male equivalent?

I am fairly sure the common law wife thing is a myth. I heard that lady divorce lawyer on the radio recently(Vanessa Lloyd Platt? or something, she has very long fair hair and is sometimes on TV) say there are two big myths about divorce which refuse to die.
The first is that there is any such thing as a common law wife.There isn't. There are huge legal consequences of getting married and they don't apply just because you have lived together for ages, you need to be legally married.
The second is the notion everything gets split 50: 50 in a divorce.
At the back of my mind this is partly why I have never married him - ie to be sure he would not get custody(think it is now called residence) or have a claim on my home.

Temples, I am not sure if this would still apply, but in my previous marriage I consulted a solicitor to ask my husband to leave, I was renting, with tenancy in my name, I had to give him reasonable time to vacate and find somewhere else, so I think the answer is yes, you have the right to stay and ask him to go. (The solicitor actually was going to write him a letter stating this, although it ended up happening a lot quicker, with police involvement.)
My advice to you would be to get legal advice to cover all the options, try and think about all the aspects of what he "might" be likely to do before making any moves.....sounds so crafty I know, but you need to protect yourself and kids from worst case scenarios.....Good luck!

marz, you have correctly identified the "lie of the land" regards our situation.
Once before he did get (almost) violent and I am very unsure how to proceed.I want to be reasonable, would never prevent open access to our children etc.
He has a very strange streak and I don't know how he will take it when I tell him its over
( its one of the reasons I no longer love him or feel safe)
How did it work out in your case?
Are you glad you split up?

Temples
Yes!! So so glad it is over, am now in my second (and last!!) marriage that is so much more healthy, and , of course I would not have met him had I not split!
My ex was violent...3 times (he slapped me first time, could be said that it was nothing serious, the telling bit though was that he thought it was MY fault.....not his,) the third was when I got the police, and they made him pack a bag and leave, (I had already finished it, and was giving him time to find somewhere to live, and he had made no attempt to find anywhere.) The police were actually helpful in that they got his keys back for me and said that I could get them to supervise when he wanted to return to get his things. Even then, I had to pack everything and get him to come around to pick it all up.....
I know that I do not know your DH...(or maybe just H?!) but I would advise that you be careful and try as much as possible to warn someone that you can trust to be close by when you deliver any bad news to him....also, I guess that although you can do everything within your power to try to not upset him, ultimately, if he is going to get upset, then you cannot take responsibilty for that, and nor should it stop you from getting away from the relationship.....just protect yourself by keeping friends/family around...
I guess the big difference is that I did not have kids from the marriage, but I do strongly believe that kids sense that you are not happy, and you should not stay in a relationship that you do not think is working for the kids nor because you feel trapped (even by fear)...easier said than done!
My ex and I did manage to stay "friendly" (although a part of that was because financially he could have made demands of me, and I wanted to avoid that....but ultimately I guess you probably will have to go through the rough patch to come out the other end and get that "decent" relationship with him, for the sake of the kids.
But definitely get advice before making any moves.....make sure you are well prepared for anything that he may throw at you......
And know that his crap is HIS crap, not yours!

Sorry this post may not be that clear....am trying to keep dd away from plants and keyboard while typing this...
It sounds so "hippyish' to say this, but honestly, you deserve better than to live in fear, and you won't find peace in yourself until you move away from it. It is soul destroying and it wears away your self confidence.
If I can be of any help..use me, I will check back here regularly....
Marz

Let's make this clear. You do not, somehow acquire certain legal rights because you have lived together a certain amount of time.

I thought that if you lived with a man for at least seven years and had had children together there was some sort of common law status afforded your relationship. I know that didn't use to be the case - as my mother got shafted as a result - but thought the law had changed in more recent years. Obviously not. In which case the law is an ass.

Erm, I think you do gain some rights if you are in Scotland, but I'm not 100% sure.

I stand corrected. I knew there was a reason why I got married.

message withdrawn

LOL Willow2!
You're all right, there is no such thing as common law. Don't know why the myth persists, but amazingly, it seems to.