HIV: Help ease my mind that my moral choice is the correct one and that my fears are unfounded...

[dejags]

My very lovely domestic helper has today found out that her husband is HIV Positive (we live in South Africa where it is rife).

I took her straight away for a test and her initial test was negative, however, she needs another test after the window period of three months to be sure.

As a mother, my initial thought is for the safety of my children. Rationally I know that this disease is not communicable other than through blood, semen, vaginal fluids and breast milk. In light of this the risk of my children contracting the virus is negligble. However there is still a niggling fear in my mind.

The reason I put this in relationships is that Susan (I have changed her name) is not only my employee but my very good friend.

I already know that we'll stand by her, I just need help in overcoming my fears surrounding this terrible disease and the incredibly tiny chance that it may impact my family.

This poor woman is not only devastated by this news, but equally by the news that her husband has cheated on her.

You sound like a lovely friend, but i think you need more up to date info on HIV. Unless you are planning to start a relationship with this womans husband, swap very large amounts of spit with her, you are safe and so is your family.

Maybe look online for more info.
lisa

Wow you sound like a good friend, and i think it is the shock that is making you not think straight at the momet.

Oh your poor maid. Please don't be frightened. You cannot catch it from being around someone with it (and as far as you know, she is negative)
Remember all the drs and nurses who work with HIV+ people, day in day out. I have visited several Aids hospitals, met patients, cuddled babies with HIV. It really is not transmissible other than by bodily fluids, though you may want to take extra precautions if anyone in the house cuts themselves eg latex gloves etc.
I am no expert so look on the WHO website for more info. Also aid charities websites?

I think you are doing a wonderful thing by standing by her.

Oh poor Suasan- praying her HIV status remains unchanged

like the others say I don't think you have much to be concerned about, although yur fears are understandable. There's info here (booklet link at end)

TBH, all of us should practice HIV aware hygiene anyhow, as its impossible to know who may have HIV. So whilst it may bring it home, it shouldn't change anything iyswim. Especially in countries where HIV is sadly so rife.

Well done you for supporting the poor woman.

X

dejags, of course you are safe.

In any case, everyone everywhere should take the usual precautions re bloodspill accidents etc because of all things we could all possibly carry without knowing.

I feel sad for you poor maid - her dh could have had the infection for a long, long time, couldn't he? Make sure she knows where to go for information fr protecting herself should she have sex with him.

It's so sad. I was in Soweto earlier this year, and the thing that struck me (amidst the friendly, atmosphere on the streets and the feeling that things are getting better, slowly) was the number of adverts painted on all the walls for funeral directors. Such eye-catching murals. I couldn't understand why so many. And then, the penny dropped.

You sound like such a good friend, and someone she will need around her at this point in time.

I can understand your fears, but as you have said yourself, they are unfounded.

Maybe if you talk to your own doctor about it they can put your mind at ease. Sometimes even when you know the information you need to hear it from someone else to be able to put your mind at rest.

HTH