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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Help me understand this behaviour

3 replies

Ineedtobecalm · 03/05/2020 09:03

Married 12 years, mostly it's been great. When the kids were young I had issues with depression and exhaustion and didn't want sex much. I know this bothered him because he told me so and I would feel guilty.

As the children got older my sex drive improved massively and we had some great sex. Recently he's started doing this thing where he's touchy feely all day, whispers innuendo in my ear basically lets me know he's in the mood, knowing full well the kids are up and we can't act on it.

Evening comes, we both drink too much, I shower and go up to bed and suggest he joins me. I get turned down and if I question this get a lecture about consent in a tone like he thinks I'm the worst person ever.

In the morning he's sorry. Back to cuddling and kisses again.

OP posts:
Thingsdogetbetter · 03/05/2020 09:19

He doesn't want/like or can't perform drunk sex. My dh is the same. Fair enough. I love drunk sex, he doesn't. The doesn't wins in sex. Every time.

I'm interested to know what you mean by question it? Pester? Say he wanted it earlier?

Perhaps knock the drinking too much in the evening on the head and see what happens.

Ineedtobecalm · 03/05/2020 09:23

Question it as in ask why he was behaving like he was super horny all day and then when the opportunity arises he isn't interested

OP posts:
wonderrotunda · 03/05/2020 09:26

Perhaps the alcohol brings out a more terse side to his personality rather than the playful sober one.
I’d definitely suggest you both forego the alcohol, maybe save it for Saturday nights

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