Moody OH

[Appymummy]

Anyone else have a partner that will go in a mood pretty much every day for the smallest of things? Either I am clearly doing things wrong or he is nit picking at things.

An example - DS has afternoon nap so it's OH lays down on sofa and I have a coffee and rest (been on the go since 5:20am) before DS wakes up I tidy his toys away ready for his next playtime...once he is up OH says he is popping to the shops to get a couple of things (essential) so I start playing with DS to find OH in the kitchen cleaning all the sides/cupboards as he can see DS hand prints all over them! That's why he is in a mood because "he's forever cleaning!" I do my fair share - hadn't long finished vacuuming and have done all the washing etc. However, these things seem to go unnoticed...

It’s not you, it’s him. The responsibility for his mood is his and his alone.

How does he show his moodiness here, does he stop talking to you?.

What do you get out of this relationship now?

Why are you together now?. I would seriously be considering whether this relationship is actually worth it. Would you want your son to treat his partner like you are by this man?. You would probably answer no.

oh god he sounds like my OH. I can spend time with my DC and do the cleaning and tidying and he will walk through and announce the place is dirty and start spotting marks on a sofa that hasnt been cleaned. I said to him that perhaps he starts doing the daily cleaning etc he might find that he doesnt notice the mark on the wall or sofa as we are too bloody busy

I should add his mum is very house proud to the point its stressful visiting, so he notices every bloody thing and I get annoyed but I have learned to sit back and let him do the deep clean every 6 mths

Sounds like he could be doing it on purpose to make you doubt yourself. Is it just about cleaning?

There's nothing wrong with wanting a clean tidy house, I'm like this.
There's a problem if you get in a big huff about it.

We've got a 5 month old, first day today of baby led weaning.

You can imagine.

I didn't have a big flounce about it, I cleared everything up. I'll clear it up tomorrow and for the next fuck knows how many months if need be.

I'm a bloke by the way, I had the easy part in creating this life so pulling my weight is the least I can do.

Has he always been this way?

It's not just about cleaning ... I have to work around child care etc so before lockdown I was having to work more on evening or weekends. He would have to watch DS so I could work (both self employed) he would moan as he was tired from working all week and not have time to relax etc

He moans at doing things but then goes out of his way to do them without me allowing me time to do them.

I just feel the past 6 months we have lost our spark and I feel I no longer make him happy and don't know why.

Thanks for the male input too - does allow me to see things from a male point of view

Again, it’s not you it’s him.

And what about him making you happy?. Abusive people are unhappy anyway and always blame others rather than their own self. Look at his parents here, what are they like?. Chances are he is exactly like one of them in terms of character.

All this bloke cares about is getting his own needs and wants met. He does not care about you or for that matter his child if you are treated so shabbily.