I was previously in an abusive relationship for approx 3 years. Serious abuse but won't go in to it. It has changed me as a person. I have done the freedom programme. Had counselling. Worked on myself as a person and overcome the panic of entering the real world again. I am now dating and after a couple of failed dates, I've met someone quite lovely. Where in struggling is that I am now SO aware of red flags, and extremely hypersensitive to anything that could be a red flag, that I am questioning everything to the point that it is unhealthy. I'll tell him he's lovely and he'll joke "Ha! Fooled you" with a wink. It's a joke. He's funny. He jokes all the time, but then I find myself thinking 'bloody hell, what if he has fooled me'. He's not controlling, doesn't appear jealous, doesn't text all the time to the point of being overwhelmed, is moving very slowly with the relationship (obviously Covid has helped more recently). I feel pretty confused. Can anyone help me to rationalize this in my head?