What don't you get its lockdown!

[itaintthatdeeep]

Losing my mind at times!
So as soon as my ex's bail condition ended he's emailing to pick up his 'stuff'
This Stuff is old crap he left in the attic. When we broke up back in November.
He said he's coming to my home - I said nope, you can send a courier, or I'll drop it somewhere.

He was on bail for stalking - sleeping in my shed for weeks etc.

So today I get another email from the police on the case this time, saying that his dad will attend instead (120mile round trip!)

His dad is even worse. With a list of stuff, which I do not have as he already took it.
But this list includes 2 pairs of jeans, 3 T-shirt's and an outdated passport.

What I do not get is beside the fact we are waiting to see if he gets charged- why after 6 months are these items essentials???

Am I wrong?... I do not want anyone near my home especially him, he hasn't made any effort to see his son, just to get to this stuff at my home.

And now I have a police officer passing on this request.... fuck it tomorrow I'm going for a 2 hour walk - because lockdown doesn't actually mean lockdown.

Bizarre. I don’t see why it’s suddenly so urgent.

Why didnt you bag it all up when you broke up and send it to him? Its just another tie to him.

@Barryisland it was left in the attic. Only came across it when putting the Christmas decorations away.

Just leave it all out on the street.

Plus I have no address to send it or I would.

I would ask the police if they really consider a 120 mile round trip an essential journey at the moment. People are getting fined for much less at the moment.

If it was as Simple as putting it outside I would no issue, but I know he will knock and bother me, plus half my neighbours are uncomfortable with him after all the stalking.

@QuacksInTheDark that's what I said.
I hold no power keeping this stuff, all I ask is for him not to come to my home. It was never a joint property or anything.

I agree with Candyfloss99 -pack it all up and leave it outside. There's no need for contact or communication.

Speak to the Police tomorrow OP and see if they'd allow you to drop his stuff of at your local Police station being as what he's put you through,fingers crossed they should be able to help

Just bag it, leave it outside, then go for your 2 hour walk because there is no time limit as long as it's once a day exercise

Speak to the police tell them your uncomfortable with this under the circumstances you dont want him their with a list (because he can demand access to search the house for the items)

Point out three things

1, it's not essential
2, he removed his stuff last year and while you have something you dont have what is on "the list"
3, if they really wish to ignore points one and two you want contactless collection via the police due to the history

There not their obviously 🙄

@slipperywhensparticus I have now and repeated that I do not want contact.
It just seems one rule for one and another for them.

if you are still waiting for a cps decision how come his bail condotions have been lifted? They really shouldn't have been

@kimlo because the 3 months bail was up supposedly!
It's ridiculous all of it is ridiculous.

For months on end I didn't know when and where he was going to turn up, working from 7 am til 9 pm and he just kept popping out the bushes at all hours.

How he acted is no joke and the affect is huge on me.
All I asked was him not to come to my home, but nope no one is listening but then again it only stalking.

@itaintthatdeeep I think you should try contacting Paladin, paladinservice.co.uk/ they are a stalking advice and advocacy service. They might be able to offer you advice or support. Surely the police cannot think it is reasonable that he or even any of his family show up at your home. That is bonkers.

@Dontbeme thank you I'll give it a look. It was said in a way like ' well you don't want his stuff so just let him collect it and then both sides are happy'

It's a case of me giving in again and not sticking to my boundaries- which got me in this situation in the first place.

But then again I knew this sort of thing would happen that's why it was so hard to report him in the first place.
As soon as they know his job it's all me. Even with pictures it's still not enough.

when his bail was up he should habe beem rebailed on the same conditions. I would be making a complaint about all of it.

The police and the cps can be rubbish woth stalking if you get the wrong person.

Thanks @kimlo

It's already the second officer on this case as I had to have them changed as he was terrible.

I was just told to get a non mol, but every time I get the dc to bed and sit down to write it I freeze.

have they said anythong about going for a stalking protection order?

you didn't get yourself in this position, OP. He put you in it.

I fully agree it is not an essential journey and downright bizarre the police are pushing this on you. I also, however, see the value in getting this out of the way as he is clearly using it as a connection he can hang on to.

I agree with PP and would ring the local station, explain the circs and say you want to leave his junk belongings there forhim to collect on the suggested date. it doesn't sound a huge amount of stuff.

then go out for your long walk and ignore any further correspondence from this stalker.

Neither he nor his father should be coming to your address. Get your non mol sorted and the next call you get from the police, ask if it’s an essential journey. It’s ridiculous for your ex to imagine that some shitty old clothes are worth a journey, I think he’s trying to make a point, the twat.

What a horrible way to maintain control over you.