Hello all. Some of you might remember my previous posts regarding my Son's mum & how I had to take custody of him as his mum moved in a heroin addict. Social services contacted me & informed me that they had received an anonymous report for my son's welfare at his mums house & they confirmed that the boyfriend was a known drug user. He was only staying at mine 2 nights per week back then. I had a neighbour tell me that there were drug dealers often visiting the house & my son felt extremely uncomfortable around the new boyfriend. There was a lot of manipulation & emotional blackmailing from both his mum & the boyfriend to try & get him to stay there more nights per week which I am now thinking was related to money & the maintenance I was paying. The boyfriend was admitted to hospital before Christmas due to pneumonia which I was told by a reliable source was actually from smoking crack cocaine. Over the course of a few months I reduced contact & this is what my son wanted until he moved in with me permanently several months ago. I offered his mum mediation but she wasn't interested. Around Xmas she kicked the boyfriend out then asked for help off of her family. They helped her but then found out she was secretly seeing the boyfriend again so they basically disowned her.
It appears that she is still with this guy & has been seen begging & selling household items. All this looks as if she is on drugs also. My son who is now 13 hasn't seen his mum since Xmas eve & he made the decision to block her number. His mum has my number but hasn't tried contacting me for months. I have referred my Son for some counselling but with this Virus pandemic it will be several months now. I always make time to have a chat with him about the situation & he still doesn't want anything to do with his mum. It was his birthday last Friday & I received nothing from his mum. I got a text off of her yesterday asking if my son had received his birthday card from her. I replied No. She replied with "I sent it Friday, when will you let me speak to him, I miss him so much". This is the first contact for ages.
Now the reason why I have asked for advice. His mum's mother has now messaged me asking if I can get my son to phone his mum because she keeps phoning her up crying & she thinks that she might kill herself. he went on to say that she knows I don't want him to have anything to do with her. I explained that it was my son's choice not to have anything to do with her & I support him as he is still a child but is old enough to know what he wants. She got sarcastic & said "no body cares about her, as long as he is ok" I mentioned to my son would he like to speak to his & he still says no so I am not going to force him. I get the feeling her mother is trying a bit of emotional blackmail just like my son's mum used to do with him.
He is finally getting to a stable good place & I don't want that spoiling. His mum is 50 & had every opportunity to sort things out but didn't. She apparently phoned her mum up to say that she had been mugged so that her mum would send her some money. So she is well aware what her daughter is like but she keeps blaming the boyfriend.
Do you all agree that I am doing the right thing by not forcing him to speak to her? I must admit I am thinking should I be trying to get him to phone her if she is suicidal but surely he is my main concern?