Hi all, I’m after some outside advice on my relationship me and my bf have been together for just over a year I’m 27 he’s 24 we met online hit it off great and meeting was even better and we’ll eventually he came down to live with me in the town I grew up in and he said it wasn’t a issue moving (he lived 2 hours away) at first things were brilliant my family loved him and took him in without a problem we would go for walks have long meaningful talks he was always honest and open about his past as I was about mine, I had gone through two bad relationships in the past mentally abusive and physically which left me with a few scars but he showed me not everyone’s the same ect ect and he fully understood well he was out going funny liked to have a beer in the pub gardens on a sunny day loved the same music and family oriented like myself always affectionate, hold hands hugs called me beautiful shown his love and the rest it. Was perfect then his depression kicked in and he went the complete opposite and also had a few worries and issues regarding his health but anyway his mood got really low and he stopped communicating as much and being open lost his job and I did my best to support him anything to get us back to how we were and he stated it was because he missed family and being around mine and watching me with them was hard (he also guilt tripped me into missing family events birthdays and friends because of this as he wanted to attend but couldn’t due to his depression ect so I though maybe we should move half and half between our families which We agreed to as I understood as my family mean the world to me also but I was a bit annoyed as he was the one who was fine moving down but things change I guess so anyway I moved out of my home and moved a hour away from mine and a hour away from his but since moving he hasn’t once mentioned his health which was ongoing and he used to have days were it caused him loadsss of pain and now nothing, he doesn’t really mention family anymore even tho he’s still a hour away and I’m missing mine like mad, every time I want to go out he’s moans or ignores me as in for a drink or to see anyone if about my seeing my family he just says well when I see mine I’m not stopping over don’t see the need to but his family live in the same house hold as mine don’t, I talk about starting work and finally having some friends up here and he says well I don’t make friends at work I go to work then come home that’s it but he does his Facebook has so many people on he’s shown me saying oh there from previous jobs I miss them they were such good friends and has a job here where he’s making friends but when I mention it he’s so negative?
It’s the same with decorating I was meant to do the living room as he was doing the bedroom and he’s basically just took it all over, I called him up on this and said I was meant to be doing the living room and he says yeah but I don’t like this, I like that ect ect so I gave up a let him do it just for us to go upstairs and him say Oo this is my next task the bedroom as I’ve already decided on what I want in here and I’m like really? I’ve just gave up my place (a lot of my stuff has been replaced aswell since moving) just to move somewhere to make him happy and all I’m getting is bossed about it doesn’t feel like home to me
My mum considered moving up so I spoke to him about that and he was just negative so I thought fair enough leave that then and he also had his brother around yet when my family wanted to come up he didn’t want them here made excuse after excuse as to why as in not decorated fully yet or he’s tired there’s always something and when I try to talk about how I feel he just shuts it down or says stop being silly there’s no problem at all it’s always what he wants on tv or films if I do get a chance it’s either when he’s sleeping or he won’t show any interest in my shows but wants me to with his, I wanted to join the gym with my sister before moving here and he told me he wanted to do it as a couple so i didn’t but I asked when we moved if he did and he said it’s not his thing When we argue he has mini asthma attacks from stress and says if I keep arguing about things it will get worse so I’m scared to talk at risk of this and being put down all my ideas are brushed under the carpet for this place but as soon as his mum says something (which I actually mentioned weeks before her) he did it straight away, I’m starting to not want to be here and go home with my family, he’s now stopped hugs saying nice things ect or sitting as couples do relaxing, when I bring anything up he gives me silent treatment and I feel awkward and go sit in another room but then he shouts me down constantly and I go for a walk he demands to no where and constantly rings me I tried to have a bath on my own and then he says but we always have one together and guilts me and he also stands outside the door asking me to get out as he will have one later with me but doesn’t anyway even tho I’m annoyed with him I don’t want to have a bath with him and I’m starting not to care if he hugs me or not anymore or do couple things when we met he even said about holidays ect I tried to book one for his birthday abroad but he wasn’t interested in This all of a sudden
He won’t go anywhere with me he says he doesn’t celebrate his birthdays even tho he’s celebrated every other one ? I was sat at his mums and his brother showed him a tattoo that was on my other halves Instagram and said I didn’t believe she was getting this until you brought her here and she shown me and it was a old photo so I thought probably a ex but then I remembered him showing me that tattoo and saying he wanted it (when we first met unisex) so I though I would ask later it didn’t bother me just the fact he was meant to be honest and not lie that’s all but he said his brother doesn’t know what he’s on about and I heard completely wrong? Which I didn’t and I know that’s a small thing but imagination that sort of thing everyday one min he likes this and that and he’s kind the next he’s horrible and doesn’t like anything he used to or it’s a different story than he’s previously told I don’t get why
All my family have told me I don’t seem myself anymore I haven’t seen them in 3 months and feel like I’m worlds away but I love him and he makes me feel like I’m the crazy one so any advice would be greatly appreciated my head is all over the place and I just can’t think at the moment