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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Wtf happened to my marriage?

5 replies

Ragnarsbeard · 28/04/2020 23:31

10 year relationship two kids. Youngest is 4 both kids terrible sleepers. Youngest is only just sleeping though and I’m only just starting to feel human again. Bit I ban see my marriage is in tatters. I really wasn’t aware how we had actually become two strangers living in the sane house.

We’ve had issues, money worries, tiredness, with stress but nothing out of the ordinary.

But how the hell do I or we pull this back? Or is that it? I’m looking at my future and I don’t know if I see him in it.

Has anyone else experienced this?

OP posts:
Ragnarsbeard · 28/04/2020 23:35

Sorry for typos!

OP posts:
LouiseTrees · 28/04/2020 23:35

Make sure you start sleeping in the same bed. Have hugs and kisses while watching tv. Give it a while to see if things improve, as you say you are only just starting to feel like yourself.

Cher3 · 29/04/2020 00:00

You got caught up in the Children and forgot each other your not the first. You just need to find your way back to each other. When I had my baby we loved having the baby in the bed The first few but we quickly realised it wasn’t ideal. It was hard to be intimate and just the closeness was gone. Do would have kept the baby in the bed so I made it my sole mission to settle baby in the cot and after a few days baby actually loved it. As a toddler baby sleeps through the nights still but you can’t give in. As well as your baby you also have to give your marriage priority or you’ll lose yourself. Make time for each other.

Ragnarsbeard · 29/04/2020 08:09

Thanks for the massages. Did anyone consider couples therapy?

OP posts:
Notjustabrunette · 29/04/2020 09:04

I’ve been to couples therapy, but we had a few more issues than the ones you’ve been describing. It was amazing and saved our marriage.
It reminded us about why we got together in the first place. I would say you need to talk to your husband about how you are feeling, spend time together without the kids around, sleep in the same bed, look through old photos of the pre kids days and talk about all the fun things you did together. It’s too easy to get caught up in the day to day shit and not prioritize time with your partner.

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