Sandwich Related Rant

[MrsFruitcake]

Need to get this off my chest as DH has just completely enraged me.

I'm making lunch for the children (Ham and cheese sandwiches on seeded bread for anyone interested) and asked him 3, yes, 3 times if he wanted one. He says no each time despite the fact I know he's hungry.

He watches the children come down from their rooms where they've been studying and sit at the table to eat while I finish making my sandwich and as I walk into the sitting room with it he calls out 'I didn't want to put you out you know'. Aargh!

I then return to make him one saying he's being annoying as he'd had ample opportunity to ask for a sandwich and he then behaved like a very rude child by saying if I make him one he won't eat it!

He's worse than any child I've ever dealt with. Both on furlough at the moment.

Why did you go and make him one? I would have just sat and ate mine

Then stop pandering to him

I wouldn't have made him one. And I wouldn't have asked him more than once.

Let him make his own if he wants one. If you've asked him and he's said no then it's up to him to get his own if he changes his mind.

You sound a bit of a pushover tbh he can make his own sandwich

I wouldn’t of made him one, why did you?

If I ask an adult 3 times if they want a sandwich, I expect them to give me the correct reply about if they’d like one. He said no 🤷🏻‍♀️

Why on earth did you go back and make him a sandwich?? Sounds like he has you right where he wants you.

He refused your offer three times. Then was all passive aggressive when you didn't do it anyway. Fuck me, thats a fanny drier right there.

Fuck me, thats a fanny drier right there. But, yes, what @EatDessertFirst said. He's a gobshite.

Is he often like this?

Not to 'victim blame' (for want of a better term) but he acts like this because you go out and make the bloody sandwich, inconveniencing yourself and delaying eating your own. Just don't.

If it's any consolation, my DM was a bit like this when I lived with her. I'd cook something, ask her if she wanted me to put any on for her, she'd turn her nose up and say, 'ugh, no, I don't know HOW you can eat that!' or ordering a takeaway (rarely because of the fuss she'd make), 'ugh, NO, absolutely not, I don't trust takeaway places blah blah'.

Food would arrive, or be cooked, she'd start sniffing the air. You could practically see her nose enter the room a few metres ahead of when she did 'Ooooh that smells nice, can I try some?' Then scoffs most of it.

I can laugh about it and roll my eyes, but your DH's behaviour is maddening. It's deliberate. Don't pander to it.

Is he always like this? Why did you make him one?

People only get away with what you let them....

For heaven's sake, just stop pandering to the man. You are making him worse by doing so.

Ask if he wants a sandwich. He says no. Fine, don't make him one. If he then decides he does, or he wasn't listening properly or didn't know you were making food for others, fine. Don't then get up and make him food. Just explain you've finished making sandwiches for today but he knows where the bread is and fillings are in the fridge. Ignore upset, tantrums, complaints....just don't engage.

Continue in this way every day. Ask clearly, expect an answer, take what answer comes. Don't then go running around afterwards, his chance is over.

Surprise, surprise, he will learn.....

I didn't want to put you out you know

I would have replied "awww, thanks" and mashed cheerfully into my sandwich, ignoring his hang dog face and rumbling tum.

He said he didn't want one!!! He should answer the bloody question properly if you're kind enough to offer to make him lunch.

You are your own worst enemy though, aren't you?

I don't understand this. I don't understand women that treat their partners like children or behave like a mother to them.
It's weird.

Why is he not capable of making his own sandwich?

A lot of men appear to be regressing to teenagehood during lockdown, putting the woman in the 'nagging mother' role. Stop pandering to him.

Fanny drier . Very true and funny!

i don't get his comment, and then why you would subsequently make him a sandwich

Why oh why did you go and make him one ?

But why did you make him a sandwich? You asked him if he wanted one, he said no. I’d assume that an functional adult is also capable of deciding if he fancies a sandwich. Stop pandering to him. It’s ridiculous and you’re giving him the impression that you’re at his beck and call. Stop it.

I don't understand why you made him one. You'd offered more than once already and he'd said no. If he changed his mind then it's up to him to go and make one. I would have asked one time, possibly followed up with an "are you sure?" And that would have been it.

Why do some men turn into oddballs over bread related matters? I almost left my now husband at the start of our relationship when he became moody after he said no to my offer of toast and I went and made myself a cheese toasty. He sulked because if he had known I was making a cheese toasty he would have said yes thankfully we’ve fixed him.

I didn't make him one, I went and sat down with mine.

You're all right of course, I should have asked once and left it at that. He's not normally so difficult.