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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Cheated

3 replies

MissELM · 27/04/2020 22:40

Hi, I’m new here. I’ll briefly tell you my story. My partner of over 10 years cheated on me. We have two children together. Hes with the woman he cheated on me with still a year on. He’s awful with me even though he’s the one that’s cheated, everytime he speaks to me I feel massive anxiety and to be honest he scares me and I hate the way he makes me feel. I have left him alone and carried on with my life with my kids for a quiet life. I have tried to turn the whole thing into a positive. My problem I feel now is I’m scared I can’t move on because I’m unsure if I’ll ever be happy with someone else, or will I be entirely happy with my life? When will I get over this? When will I heal? Should I turn to therapy? Has anyone been through this before and can anyone give me a glimmer of hope that this will eventually get easier. TIA

OP posts:
Original poster
MissELM · 27/04/2020 22:40

Hi, I’m new here. I’ll briefly tell you my story. My partner of over 10 years cheated on me. We have two children together. Hes with the woman he cheated on me with still a year on. He’s awful with me even though he’s the one that’s cheated, everytime he speaks to me I feel massive anxiety and to be honest he scares me and I hate the way he makes me feel. I have left him alone and carried on with my life with my kids for a quiet life. I have tried to turn the whole thing into a positive. My problem I feel now is I’m scared I can’t move on because I’m unsure if I’ll ever be happy with someone else, or will I be entirely happy with my life? When will I get over this? When will I heal? Should I turn to therapy? Has anyone been through this before and can anyone give me a glimmer of hope that this will eventually get easier. TIA

OP posts:
thequeenbeyondthewall · 27/04/2020 22:52

There is no one in the world who should make you feel like that.

You will get over it. You couldn't have him back now anyway he had cheated on you and split your family up for some fucking sex. What a devil dick twat.

Your well rid. If he did that to his you and his kids he will do it to her. All the feelings at the beginning Like the newness and excitement of it will change and he will be back cheating again.

A year isn't long I heard it's about a month for every year you have been together for you to get over. You will prob start feeling better soon.

Come out of lockdown a new women DaffodilThanksWine

Notjustabrunette · 28/04/2020 09:00

I would recommend seeing a counselor. Speaking to a professional will help you get your thoughts in order and help to stop the ruminating you are doing. You might be able to find someone who will see you via zoom or Skype until you can meet in person. A year is really only a short amount of time considering your whole life has been changed.

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