Another argument about needing space. Please help!

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Hello all,

I am looking for some advice and some help in being able to communicate/speak with my partner so we can understand each other better. Please be kind. I am really struggling with the lock-down at the moment.

Firstly I/we are very lucky we both have our jobs and now work from home. We also don't currently have children so I have nothing to complain about during the lock-down.

However, there has been friction with my partner who is hurt and upset that I need/want my own space. I am finding it suffocating that he wants to spend quite literally all day, every day together. I feel so much pressure to be with him however I like my own space but am made to feel guilty if I want time away from him.
I feel suffocated by his expectations and also working from home and not being able to switch off.

I have always needed my own space this was something we discussed when we moved in together. I think this is healthy, whereas my partner has always struggled to accept that I want/need time alone and takes it as rejection.

Yesterday we spent all day together and did our exercise together it was great but today he is upset and thinks I am annoyed with him because I want the day to myself.

I am trying to see it from the other perspective. He naturally never needs to be on his own and obviously feels I shut down. We are now, ironically arguing over this, because he thinks I am annoyed with him I wasn't until he asked me once again what my issue was. I never hold grudges and if there is a problem I always chat about it so don't sulk so me going quiet is not my style if I am angry.

Am I in the wrong? am I being selfish?
Maybe I need a good talking to! But how can my partner and I compromise? So far all we've done is argue.

Thank you x

I am also shocked that so many say its controlling. He is asking you and expressing his needs..it is called communication and ideally you will find a compromise. Appreciate that an introvert & extrovert are not usually in this situation with lockdown although how have you managed on holidays?

The important think is that you try not to argue, since that suggests both of you are not listening and digging in heels. His needs are as valid as yours and a healthy relationship is where you can hear each other and try to find a way to make it work.

The average couple spend two hrs together a day. Maybe that figure is helpful. He needs to realise if he continues to be to needy then he will push you away. Be careful because if you give in too much he may then become reassured less needy and all of a sudden he's needing you less. This happened to me. I think he's being selfish he cannot see his friends as much so he's using you to Yr detriment.