Head in a shed

[inapickle1989]

Hi everyone . I honestly think reading half the threads on here are making me really paranoid at the amount of women posting about their partners and porn lately . I have a big issue with it I will not tolerate it in a relationship. Long story . Anyways my boyfriend was watching it two years ago even tho I made it perfectly clear at the very start that if we were to get together there would be no porn . He was happy said he rarely used it anyways . All good for 8 years then I find it . I was so upset . Lost all respect for him it literally
Ruined everything for me and if I'm honest I'm still not over it . He doesn't have a clue that I'm still feeling like this because I hide it well . Well anyways I found videos in his phone again last week but they were sent to him on a group chat . Had issues with that last year too . Constant porn from his boss of all people 🤢. That was dealt with then this . From
People he goes to a hobby with . So he commented on the video saying this is the new craze is it ? I did say to him anymore
And I would 100 percent end it . And I did . I left and slept in my car . Not the best idea I had lol I was freezing . Went to work and sent him a message saying it's over I deserve better . He text me he has taken his things . I was so sad became I love him loads but knew that was what I had to do . Anyways the same night he came home . Crying . He has stayed the night in work . He stayed and I have never seen him that sad I know it sounds stupid but that's the 1st time in 10 years that I have ever seen him look like he was gutted that he had lost everything . Now this week so much has changed . He leaves his phone on the table . Never takes it to the toilet with him , nothing . I think to show me that he ha nothing to hide . He texts me every day saying how much he loves me . So loving when we got home from work . I feel so happy again . But then I have this doubt in the back of my mind every day . And it's really getting to me . I woke up sad this morning for no reason at all but worrying how happy we are now and how quick the trust can just be gone . Any one in my situation or has been ? Do they actaully change ?

He lost nothing.. he stayed at work for a few hours longer than usual and played you like a finely tuned fiddle...

He won't stop watching Porn... he will just view it via other means... you know this...

good luck OP.. . but the reality is... nothing changed..

I enjoy porn so I wouldn't have problem with a partner watching it but with that said I never share it in group chats and if I had a boss that was sending me regular porn I'd be very uncomfortable with it! I guess everyone is different.

I think the problem here is that you will not tolerate it and he clearly enjoys it. I think if he's to tell you he won't watch it anymore it is likely bs. How about a compromise where he can watch it just not share it in group chats? Even then I'm afraid in have a sneaky suspicion he'll still go ahead and share it.

He won’t ever give up porn until he respects women.

Think about that.

Lol @avalanchekit. My partner has mad respect for me and all the other females in his life and shock horror he watches porn. Shock horror so do I. You're jumping to conclusions to suit your opinion

OP it's not a porn thing, its a you thing now. You made it clear it wasn't acceptable to you and he did it anyway. That's wrong. As I say, it's porn itself is no biggie to me, but going against wishes is. It's also upto you whether uts a deal breaker for you or not. Like an affair, some women its an automatic end to a relationship, some women try again, some even have a successful and happy life together afterwards too. Only u know your partner and if he's remorseful enough or how strongly u feel about it.

Different people have different ideas of what constitutes 'porn'. For some it's just pictures of women topless. For others it's actual sex. For others it's real hardcore stuff that I'd hesitate to even name here. For some poor buggers it's pictures of bare feet.

Do you both view 'porn' as the same thing? Have you told him what constitutes porn for you?

But I agree with pps that, if he watches porn (however you term it) he's not going to stop, he'll just cover his tracks better.