Non molestation order

[Nonmolhelp]

Namechanged for this.

On police advice last week I contacted the NCDV and asked if I could get a non mol in place. They called me within a couple of days and a guy took a statement from me over the phone and said it would be sent to a solicitor for review and submission to court. The solicitor then sent me a draft statement which I was meant to sign and send back. It had a couple of inaccuracies in it which I mentioned and they removed them. I signed and sent it back. They then called me and said it wasn't detailed enough for court and asked me to give a more detailed version of events. I tried, using texts and phone call history etc, but it was difficult as I was talking about events over a 2.5 year period which have been very up and down. They then sent me the updated version but it was absolutely full of things that I don't think I said, mixing up of different incidents etc. It's much more inaccurate than the original one which was fine to my eye but apparently not detailed enough.

What do I do now? Should I be writing my own statement or continuing to bat it back to the solicitor until I'm happy with it? It's time consuming and stressful (also trying to wfh, homeschool, wrangle dc) and tbh I'm starting to rethink the whole thing even though I know I must see it through.

I got a non-mol with support from the NCDV last year. When they sent me the draft I re-wrote it to correct some details and add in a couple of important details I’d forgotten on the call, then sent it back for checking. I suggest doing that rather than keep up the ping pong.

I found it really hard going emotionally. It was worth it though

Thank you. I've just started rewriting it.

Can you tell me if he sees the statement and if he gets to defend himself over what is written? I was told the 2nd hearing would be with him and it's making me nervous.

Yes he gets to see what’s written. That really scared me but he didn’t even bother turning up for the hearing. I thought he would right up until I got into the hearing room and they said he wasn’t coming. It was very scary and I was in pieces. Sorry, I know that’s not what anyone wants to hear.

You can ask the NCDV for a MacKenzie Friend to talk you through the process and be with you on the day. I didn’t opt for this but wish I had.

You can also ask the court to make sure you’re in different waiting rooms and to have a screen in the courtroom.

Hi OP. The huge majority of court hearings are now by telephone so you shouldn’t have to see him. Put as much detail as you can in your statement. He will see it.
At the second court attendance he will be able to tell the judge whether he wants to contest it or not. If he does there’ll be a 3rd court hearing. However it is usual for judges to try to avoid this if possible and expect the judge to put some pressure on him to let the non molestation order just to stay in place. If he’s not going to breach it there’s no problem to him of it being made. If you do go to a 3rd hearing your non molestation order stays in place until then

Ok thanks for info. I knew it would be over the phone. If he's going to read it then to me it feels even more important that it's accurate so I'm going to rewrite it myself.

I'll ask for a mackenzie friend, thanks for that tip.

good luck OP.

So good that it’s over the phone for now. Good luck OP.