Has anyone had to live with an ex after breakup?

[the30thIsOnHoldInLockdown]

Can anyone share their experience with living with an ex whilst the house gets put on the market?

How awkward is it? Is it practical to some extent in terms of organising solicitor, estate agent and bank appointments etc? Do you actually feel any 'relief' from the break up that you thought you would?

Yes I did. He was emotionally abusive throughout our relationship and didn't stop during the Post-breakup living together. He changed his attitude daily, from 'I'll change look how wonderful I am" to "You'll never find anyone who'll love you like I do".
It was hard, but knowing that it was only for now and that soon I'd be free was really liberating.
As time went on we avoided each other more and more. It got less awkward over time.
Hope this help

Yes I did. It was awkward but not absolutely awful. My choice to end the relationship and the house wouldn’t sell. Went away nearly every weekend. After a year I borrowed everything to buy him out.

@fiorentina I'm thinking of letting him buy me out as he had more ties to this place than me. How did that work for you?

We have added value to this place and I'm worried I won't see any of it if he buys me out :(

@Needtobuildabridge glad to hear you managed ok and got out. Sounds like it was definitely for the best!! Now I'm just torn as to whether to end it now or after lockdown. Thankyou for your reply :)

What are your cicumstances OP, is it an 'end of the road' breakup, or one with something underneath it?

@Needtobuildabridge we've been together for 5 years and he doesn't want to have sex. In the last 5 weeks we've done it once. And we are only 29/30. We've had the problem for 3 years now and he doesn't do anything about it.

But I think the last few weeks since I've had it in my mind that I'm breaking up, I actually look forward to the freedom of being me again. In many ways I feel held back and it's just taken this 'lockdown' to make me realise. It's quite sad really.

So now I'm considering the practicalities of a break up before actually breaking up!

Okay, well for me that feeling of 'freedom' came fairly quicky, despite the living arrangements. I can see that in the current circumstances you may not feel that living in lockdown with him!
I would still have the conversation, so that as soon as this is over, you can move forward.

Hi I split from my ex over 3 years ago. We were together for 10 years and owned a house together. We had nothing in common and wanted different things in life. I made the decision to split up and put the house on the market almost straight away. We did live together afterwards with him moving into the spare room but we had an agreement not to see anyone else and more so bring not to them back to the house. Initially we got on much better than we had done in years but Within 2-3 months he was already with someone else which he lied about so I made him leave! Although it was my decision to split I hated the fact he had moved on so quickly! Just proved he thought nothing of what we had.

Horrific.

I did it for a few months. The relationship was dead both sides but he ended it. I was relieved. I offered to buy him out and he hung on in there, he didn't want to leave until the cash was in hand also I think he had doubts. It was really awkward. He also changed his mind after a month or so and proposed to me - right before a job interview I had. Nice timing. He was always in and out of jobs, a bit unstable. I did all the wife work, manoeuvred us into buying the flat - he never would have got it together for that. Loads of other stuff. I was fed up propping him up and I feel he didn't really appreciate it. I think he found it hard after years of me sorting things to start making his own decisions. Finding somewhere to live etc...

We spend a lot of time avoiding each other in a two bed flat. I went out a lot.

In the end the money came through and I transferred it to him. He was gone not too long after although it took a nudge from me to get him over the edge. What a relief when he went.

It was an unpleasant time, but a bit of a limbo situation. I don't have many memories as I tried not to interact with him in the flat. I went out a lot, got dinner in the canteen at work to avoid cooking at home, stayed in my room etc. And then it was over.

My DH is still in the house. As is an elderly relative. Until she has to leave or dies , I am committed to the home .
In a limbo relationship wise.He thinks because I am not shouting that he is forgiven . Not a chance - just biding time.
House is big , separate rooms , etc. Very difficult , but as I don't give a shit about him , I try to just deal with it.

It was awful for me because he was EA throughout. Also deliberately strung out the process, and the court process, as part of the EA.

In the end I agreed to less than I could have got (not less than 50% though) to get out of there.

@haventgotascooby1 yeah I totally get that you'd feel hurt. I would too, especially when yous are still living together too. Although the relationship ends the respect for one another should still be present and I suppose love doesn't disappear even if you are the one to break up. So I'd feel hurt too.

@cantarina yes I'm suspecting that my bank balance will feel it as I'll probably eat out more. I would love it if he agreed with me that a break up is what we need and maybe we could live as friends.. but who am I kidding? When does that ever happen!?

@Stillfunny I hope your time in limbo isn't for much longer! I can't imagine that being a pleasant situation. Thankyou for sharing.

@Blackandgreenteas I'm worried that he will turn bitter and do something similar to be honest. I pray he doesn't though. He should know I've tried bloody hard for years to make this relationship work.

We had done work to the house which i had paid for so I definitely took a financial hit, but we were married and that was life. I probably could have argued to pay less as we had no DC but I wanted a clean break.