Over the Christmas period, me and a group of friends went out for a massive bender and I got absolutely paralytic and had a memory blackout. My friends cousin (it was the first time I met him was also present). I’ve thought nothing of it for ages but now I keep getting flashbacks of the night where him and I were alone together. I don’t remember kissing him but I do remember dancing together and him saying “what was that?” to me. I’m 100% sure nothing sexual whatsoever happened and if any kissing did, it would have been for a split second or a couple at most. To put it into context, we are both in long term relationships. We have hung out as a group ever since and he has been totally normal with me, hasn’t mentioned anything and I’m even chummy with his girlfriend now and they’ve met my boyfriend which I feel especially bad about reflecting on it and makes me feel like an absolute phoney! I don’t know if this is my anxiety speaking but I can’t get it out of my head that I may have kissed him and having all this time working from home (I live alone) has been making me constantly beat myself up about this to the point where it’s become an obsession over the last few weeks. I’ve tried so hard to remember but my memory is blank other than a few flashbacks. It’s got to the point where I’ve not been eating and sick with worry about what may or may not have happened as I love my boyfriend so very much and I can’t imagine how it would make him feel. If it did happen, it would probably have been for a split second but I have no memory of a kiss. Do you think I should say anything to anybody to get some clarity or just let sleeping dogs lie and avoid unnecessary drama, also considering the cousin lives with his long term partner. I’ve never done anything like this before! I’m aware that I shouldn’t get into situations like this where I’m completely wasted.