Worth saying something or shall I leave it alone?

[ncwtfigo]

21 year relationship ended two years ago, He was in a bad place due to his parents being ill, Stressed at work etc and he ended up depressed and on the verge of a breakdown. He left saying he couldn't handle being with someone at this point in his life and it would be for the best for us to split up as he couldn't give it his all.

We stayed in contact for a few months but I found it too hard, I still loved him so I ended up telling him I wanted no further contact, He respected it.

I contacted him when lockdown started to wish him and his family well, He replied saying it was good to hear my voice. We have spoke on the phone about once a week and we have been getting on like we used to do when we were together, laughing together, talking. I asked if he was still depressed and he said yes but he is getting there, has started to feel a bit better etc but still there in the background.

I still have feelings for him, I think because we didn't split up due to something bad like cheating etc I have found it hard to stop my feelings.

Do I tell him or just let things be?

I personally wouldn’t go back unless I knew for sure that he had sorted himself out and even then I’d be wary. He could do the same thing again.

What exactly does he think a relationship is for? You'd been together for two decades and yet when he hits a low point his response is to split up with you because he's a bit distracted?

Either he still thinks a partnership is all romantic rainbows and unicorns or he's so used to being The Strong One that he can't cope with being supported.

(Or, of course, it was a bollocks excuse)

21 years and be dumped you because he was stressed about life? Wow.

Don’t go there, the rejection won’t do your self esteem any good. You’re a Corona time distraction.

Frankly I would have said infidelity was easier to deal with than someone who decided after more than 20 years that he just couldn’t be bothered any more because he was depressed, and promptly ditched you. And no, I wouldn’t be begging to be taken back by someone for whom a 21 year relationship was just unnecessary distraction from his own stuff.

Nope.
Move on.