DP will never point out when I’m in the wrong!

[marshmellowdreams]

What do you call it when someone is like this?

I like to be held accountable for my actions and if I’m in the wrong I appreciate someone pointing it out and making me aware it. For example a friend or family member could be mad at me over something which I know I’m in the wrong for and even though I know it’s justified he will insist that they are wrong. Or I will point out that I can be a certain way at times and I know I’m like that and he will insist that I’m not! Why would someone be like this?

Because he thinks it's kind and loyal maybe

I like to be held accountable for my actions.

Er, that’s your responsibility, why does your DP have to be dragged into calling you out on your shit?

Err... can’t you just take responsibility for your own actions?

I know it’s not the worst thing in the world and he’s not meaning it in a bad way and yes my actions are my responsibility but I guess I just prefer someone pointing that out to me.

*rather than acting like I’ve done no wrong

Maybe he misinterprets it. When you point out your faults, you want him to agree but he thinks it's a "does my bum look big in this?" moment.

@Vettiyalruken Yes he probably just doesn’t want to upset me. But even in general conversation I could say something like “I’m always late” which I am and it’s the truth and he will say that I’m not. It irritates me.

Do you ask him why he does that?

He sounds like a cuck.

Fine if you like that sort of guy.

My husband is the total opposite

How long have you been together OP? Are you not well matched? Maybe he's a bit of a doormat and puts you on a pedestal and you can't stand that?

Are you relatively new in the relationship ?

Well better than my dp who is NEVER wrong, even when he is spectacularly wrong. Also loves to point out when I'm wrong. It's a novelty I guess, because it's very rare

He sounds either scared of you OP or a complete wuss

I like to be held accountable for my actions and if I’m in the wrong I appreciate someone pointing it out and making me aware it.

But if he did do this, would you then be whinging that he points out your fuck ups? It's a genuine question, I'm not having a dig.

Why do you need him to agree with you about your foibles though?

What would it actually achieve?

Lots of people don't like having their failings pointed out to them - no matter how true they are!

He's a massive people pleaser or he's scared of you. He now probably can't break the habit/cautious in case it backfires. I don't think this is a huge issue unless it translates to never having his own opinion because he just agrees with what you say all the time.

He’s scared of your reactions perhaps? Have you asked him ?

What’s the point of saying something like ‘I’m always late’? You want him to say Yes, you are?

If you are aware of your faults and flaws, why not just change them?

I'd say it's better than getting 'done' for every little thing, I swear my breathing is even not done right, I switch off and ignore. But boy do I pounce when he does something wrong.

I kind of know what you mean. An ex of mine was very simpering and had me on a pedestal when actually I'm a gobby and passionate person which means I'm sure sometimes I'm a dick.

It felt false to me that he would excuse bad behaviour because he projected this idea of a perfect woman onto me when I'm actually very flawed (as are most people).

I couldn't place why it annoyed me so much til I realised it's because it wasn't about me.

He just had an idea in his head of what 'a girlfriend' is like and 'a good boyfriend' is like and acted accordingly, without sort of personalising anything to me. I could have been anyone really. I probably haven't explained that very well.

Anyway, I found the fawning sort of cringeworthy and after a while it gave me the ick so I ended it and I genuinely hope he finds someone more gentle who can live up to the idea of a girlfriend he had.

He was gutted and I could have spent the rest of my life with him excusing me whenever I was wrong but that would have been bad for both of us.

Maybe he's scared of your reaction. Or he thinks he's so lucky to have you and doesn't want to rock the boat.

He's uxorious