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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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I can’t cope with this pain anymore

32 replies

FirstTimeMum1991 · 24/04/2020 23:52

Hi everyone,

I’m reaching out for help really.
I am 7 months pregnant and have discovered my husbands affair (which I thought was over) never ended and he has basically left me for her.

I am in so much pain, I am laying here not wanting to go on any longer and I need someone to assure me I’m going to get through this because right now I don’t want to continue.

OP posts:
YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet · 25/04/2020 10:10

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you're having such a tough time We hope you can get in touch with your family today - you don't have to go through this alone. Flowers

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected]. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

Take care OP - we hope brighter days are ahead.

LeftFeelingHelpless · 25/04/2020 12:35

I’m going through the exact same thing, OP. It’s been around 2 months so far and although it still hurts, everyday hurts a little less. We have 2 DC together and I just don’t understand how someone could just walk away so easily. I’ve come to realise he’s not worth the hurt nor the heart ache. If he was he wouldn’t have put you in such a devastating situation. I don’t look at him in the same light anymore, he’s not who I thought he was.

Just remember that what he has done has nothing to do with you. He’s shown you who he truly is, and that okay. Because now you can find the strength to be who you are supposed to be without anybody holding you back. You’re worth more than how he treated you.

It helped me knowing there are others who have been through the same thing. They managed to get through and are in a much better situation so why wouldn’t you be?

I wish you all the best, just take it one day at a time. You’ll look back and wonder what you even saw in him Grin

kittenrug · 25/04/2020 13:23

Everything for a reason lovely Flowers

You can’t see it now but you have a beautiful and happy future ahead of you with your baby and whomever ends up in your life. One day you will look be and see exactly why things happened this way. x

Kostaki · 25/04/2020 13:57

You will get through. My husband left me at 7 months pregnant with twins. It is crap for a while but you do get through. Having a good family support system would help. Dont give up

RLEOM · 25/04/2020 14:33

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

First, you need to reach out to as many friends and family as possible. Call your midwife and explain - she will point you in the right direction.

Next, speak to your doctor. I'm not sure if you can be given antidepressants whilst pregnant but they might have something they can offer you. It's a slippery slope with hormones and to go through this heartbreak whilst pregnant is not easy at all.

Lastly, have faith that this will pass. You'll need plenty of time to process and grieve and that's OK. Even if it takes a year or 2, that's OK. You're going to adapt to having a newborn (not sure if this is your first), which will be challenging for the first few months, which is why it's so important to have a support network in place.

That man never deserved you. Remember that. You can give all the love and devotion in the world, but if it's not reciprocated, that person does not and will not deserve to be graced with your presence nor consideration. He's made his bed, let him enjoy it because he's the one who will be missing out on a beautiful family, not you. You and your child will have a wonderful life together. It'll be tough at times but it will also be full of unconditional love and laughter, lots of laughter. ❤

Stay strong, call the doctor, call friends and family.

Feckthisshit2020 · 25/04/2020 16:20

Same here, I’m 8 months now. Feel free to pm me. I’m so sorry, it’s awful and overwhelming and more awful again. The only advice I have is take one day at a time or you might sink under the weight of it all. Very happy to chat if you think it would help.

Turtletotem · 20/06/2020 06:12

Hey how are things for you now?

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