Not sure if friend is depressed or trying to drop a hint

[elliebelliebo]

I have a friend who has periods of depression, which she is receiving treatment for. Usually when she is depressed she is quite open and honest about not wanting to talk or meet up, I offer to help in any way I can, and sometimes she asks for help, sometimes she doesn't.

But for the past 3 or 4 months, she has just seems to be getting more and more distant from me. Not replying to messages, or giving brief, vague responses. I didn't really think anything of it until I was reading a thread on here about how to drop a friend by not replying to messages and realised that her actions could actually be interpreted in that way.

She hates talking on the phone, so I don't want to call her, and obviously I can't suggest meeting up at the moment. I care about her a lot as we've been friends for many years, so I don't want to just stop contacting her, in case she is in a period of depression. I also don't want to make a fuss about what's going on because if she is depressed, that's probably the last thing she needs. But, I also don't want to plod on sending her messages, if she is at the other end thinking: oh why doesn't ellie just take the hint and leave me alone.

Does anyone have any suggestions about how to handle this? Or feel free to tell me that I'm overthinking it.

I think if she's usually suffering depression or any type of anxiety it might just be that this whole situation has gotten the better of her and she's just blocking everyone and everything out. I've done this in the past when I've had a bad time with A&D, sometimes it's easier to just be and deal with stuff.

Maybe you could try sending a text just saying that she seems a bit different, so you're slightly worried, and that you hope she's okay and that you're there for her if she needs you.

I agree with the previous poster, of course everyone is different but in my experience when I've been feeling very anxious or very down I do have a habit of sort of blocking people out for a while, not because of anything they have done but because it just seems so overwhelming to talk to anyone when I'm already feeling so scattered. I think @LockdownLoopy's suggestion of what to say is good, it doesn't put her under any pressure but lets her know she can talk to you/maybe even tell you if she just can't face replying to messages often atm. I hope it works out, you sound like a good friend.