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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I dont like my partner

5 replies

Snowcappedmountains · 24/04/2020 08:35

This is quite long and I dont really know where to start - it might also be a bit jumbled so apologies about that. I really dislike my partner and I want to leave. We have been together for just over 10 years and have a daughter together. Our relationship has always been quite up on down but at the beginning we got on so well, it all changed I think when we moved in together after about for years of going out. He's always been extremely vocal with his opinions and if I have a differing opinion he will literally fly off the handle and it will end in a huge argument. He's called me stupid on several occasions and thinks he is superior to most people in the sense that he is smarter. He has always been the main breadwinner and I think he has used that massively to his advantage, he has never helped me out with money, ever. For exampe when my daughter started nursery it was a quite a way from where I lived and I would have to get a minimum of two buses, whenever I would ask him for bus fare he would say why didnt I ask him earlier? Why didn't I remind him as he had no cash to give me but she went to nursery on the same day every week so why shoukd I have to remind him. I ended up having to walk there a lot because of this. I used to literally live on my child benefit which was £20 a week and that was it. He's been verbally abusive, he's called me a c**t on many occasions, he's thrown things at me, chased me during arguments (although that hasn't happened now for a long time -several years) He's never acknowledged that taking care of my daughter is hard work, he says its easy and that I dont contribute anything. Gosh, when I'm writing all of this I'm starting to realise how bad its actually been.

The thing that gets to me is that my Dad was exactly the same, very abusive and controlling of my Mum and violent towards me and my sisters (partner has never been like that with our daughter) but I feel terrible it all, like history is repeating itself.

OP posts:
WilburIsSomePig · 24/04/2020 08:37

Get away. Show your daughter that this is not the way a relationship should be.

LeilaDarling · 25/04/2020 11:10

Really sorry, have a look at the freedom project. It sounds awful x

Lifeisabeach09 · 25/04/2020 11:16

Your partner is the cunt!
Will he leave? Or can you and DD go stay with family?

BippityBobbityBoo · 25/04/2020 11:16

You need to make a plan to leave him OP, this is a terrible way for you and your daughter to live. Do you work? Have you put his income into the cms calculator?
Don’t let onto him but start planning. You can do this Flowers

BippityBobbityBoo · 25/04/2020 20:41

@Snowcappedmountains
I’ve reported your post to ask hq to move your it to relationships because I think you’ll get a better response. I hope you are ok tonight, I’ve been thinking of you.

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