Looking for some advice please. 2 years ago, I met a lovely man online and we had a great relationship for about 18 months. Very companionable, both very attracted to each other and interested in each other’s lives. We didn’t have any plans to move in or anything like that, both content with things the way they were. Me late 40s, he early 50s, we both have kids.
To cut a long story short, we ended up breaking up after various life things got in the way. His job was very difficult at the time, and both his parents developed dementia, needing a lot of care which largely fell to him. I had a cancer scare and ended up taking time off work with anxiety. I saw the relationship as a refuge but his coping method was to pull away, and we ended up finishing the relationship (his choice). I was pretty upset about it all, and he’s told me since it was a ‘huge loss’.
Anyway, since then, after a few months of no contact, we’ve ended up being friends. Mainly my instigation, not his. Pre-Covid, we met a few times for lunch. Purely platonic but I realised how much I’d missed him. I suspect he felt the same but there always seems to be something holding him back. Now, over the past few weeks, we’ve had some really close phone conversations - not about us, but life stuff - and I’ve started fantasising that we’ll get back together. Sometimes it seems like it’s inevitable and I feel sure, but nothing has been explicitly said. We get on very well, we share similar values and humour. He’s told me he really cares about me. He’s also told me, drunk, that he fancies me. But apart from that, there’s been no suggestion on his part that it’s anything more than friends. And I just don’t know how to broach or progress it. I don’t want to blow our friendship but I also want to know the situation. If he’s not interested, I think it’s better to know. How do I do this without harming things or seeming crass? I know he’s a confident man, so if he was keen to seal the deal, wouldn’t he just say?