Not even sure what I'm asking ... hand hold maybe ..

[Mable1972]

Long time lurker looking for a hand hold.
Some background for context. OH is a keyworker as am I but I'm able to work from home … he has to go out every day. Been married for 26 years, no kids.
Last night we had the biggest row we've had for years and all sorts of accusations were thrown at each other, about me not caring, him not able to have any free time and me being manic with house sorting out and giving him a list of jobs to get done. Ended up with me being told to just fuck off and so I did .. got in my car and drove to the end of the road and realised I have nowhere to go (both my parents are no longer with us). He rang me and told me I shouldn't be out and tried to talk to me. I eventually went back home and he acted as if nothing had happened.
I think he got up and slept on the sofa at some point and went to work.
I'm not even sure I know what I'm asking to be honest … just some reassurance that maybe this is normal??

It doesn’t sound like it’s normal for you and that’s good. It sounds really upsetting.

Not normal for us at all … maybe I should have said "Normal given that we're all on lockdown" or maybe normal that couples are finding themselves disagreeing more than usual. … oh I don't know …

Look, these are stressful times, for everyone, and stressful for you two. Something like this is happening up and down the country as the uncertainty of everything is weighing heavy on everyone. Trying to juggle normal life, like doing chores and house maintenance is daunting, probably more so now than ever. If you two are normally not like this, then can this be due to stress? Are you able to sit down over a cuppa, a nicely cooked meal and talk?

I think it is stress related for both of us … I've come out with psoriasis on my face and that only happens when I'm stressed.
I've tidied all my crap away so hes not coming home to half finished jobs around and I'm cooking a nice tea for us to sit down and chat this evening. Thanks for the reassurance x

My BF and I had an argument recently. It came out of nowhere and ended up with him telling me to fuck off, a few other mean things, and essentially threatening to dump me. It was horrible and out of character. Eventually we got to talk about it and he came to the conclusion that a whole load of stress had built up in his life and he'd taken it out on me. Looking back we could see how things had actually been building for a while. He's since got referred for counselling to help him deal with things better and things have really improved, I can see the old him coming back.

So yes, this can be normal. Stress of any sort does things to people. I think the main thing is that you both want to work on it and can have open, supportive communication.