Bereavement, seeking support from ex

[Dreamer129]

I'm currently going through a family bereavement and struggling quite a bit with it. My ex broke up with me about 6 months ago (and now has a new partner) but has reached out to offer support to me. I really want to talk to him about my loss because he's the person who understands me and can cheer me up the best but I'm not sure if I'm just causing myself long term pain by talking to him on an emotional level? Is it worth it?

No one can answer this. Do you see your ex as a friend or do you still harbour romantic feelings? Do you think you would be tempted to seek physical comfort from him?
Some of my exes I am still in touch with and after being do intimate at one time in our lives that knowledge and understanding never really leaves, but I have no interest in anything else. It seems very soon after your break up. As you can no more than talk by phone or video link at the moment it might be ok as long as you don't get into talking about your relationship.

No it is not worth it.

He broke up with you. He doesnt have the same feeling, or the same regard for the relationship you do.

Sorry for your loss and it is a very difficult thing to go through, but you need to look elsewhere for comfort. This can only lead to more pain.

Thank him for his consideration but dont do it

Sounds like a recipe for pain on top of pain.

I really want to talk to him about my loss because he's the person who understands me and can cheer me up the best

Really?

Didn’t he leave you (for someone else?) and break your heart.....

If so you sound delusional.

Sorry for your loss.

There are much more healthy options to process grief. Stay well clear you are v vulnerable right now.

I think whatever comfort you take from it will be negated by the fact that it will set you back in the “getting over it and moving on” process.

Have you actually seen him and had an emotionally calm friendship in that period?

Or has he just sent you a condolence message with the standard “let me know if there is anything I can do” line - which he might well be hoping you don’t take up.

I absolutely wouldn't.
I rang an ex to ask him an IT question and ended up in tears as he was nice and helpful and it felt like we were back together which we weren't. He is 100% happy and over our break up and it left me feeling absolutely awful.
With a bereavement the feelings will be so much worse. I would write it down or talk to a counselor. Definitely not an ex.

If you contact him it will be short term gain for long term pain.