Partner unhappy and doesn't know why, what do I do?

[citytocountry93]

Hi guys,

My partner recently returned (1st April) from a months deployment in Cyprus he is in the RAF. The first few days he seemed fine normal even the sex was good however since then he’s been in a really weird mood, I’ve always had to initiate sex and sometimes won’t have it, he’s not acknowledging in conversation I get no reply or a simple one word miserable reply. He’s usually quiet anyway that’s just him but a lot more quiet than normal. I’ve regularly asked what’s up you don’t seem yourself and always replied with he’s fine. I’ve also noticed he’s been getting up a lot earlier normally he lays in till 9ish but he’s awake since 7 sometimes earlier.

The other day he finally told me that he is unhappy and has been for a couple of months but doesn’t know why. I asked if its us he’s unhappy with or has he met someone else and he said no to both he just doesn’t know what is it. He said he was hoping that going to Cyprus would help but apparently hasn’t.

Now I know when he was in Cyprus they ended up in lockdown for the entire time he was there then he’s come back to the UK and had to do the lockdown again so I don’t think it’s helped the situation.

I don’t know what to do, we are expecting our first child and id hate for the relationship to end. I hope when he’s back at work will make things better. Do I give him some space or try and act normal try and Involve him in conversation even if he’s not interested?

He’s already said to stop asking him all the time how he is as it will make him worse

@BirdieDance I have asked him, that's when he said I'm just unhappy and doesn't know what it is - he says he has done for months he says it's not me/us or someone else - normally I'd shrug it off if it was a few weeks but as it's months I'm now concerned

How pregnant are you? Some men get scared of sex during pregnancy and I know I was uncomfortable towards the end when it was like there was a third person involved.

How does he feel about the baby? Is he getting involved with the preparations?

I’d be suspicious of the phone use and the long dog walks. It sounds like he is talking to someone else.

I'm 24 weeks he's been great so far well before he went to Cyprus - we were planning the nursery out, although bit difficult to do now at the mo as we can't get much stuff to do it.

I had terrible sickness during my first trimester and he was worrying hoping I'd be alright. But it's just as he's come back he's just become more distant

Have you tried ringing him when he's on his long walks, see if his phone is engaged?

@caringdenise009 I haven't actually that's a good idea - will try later