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Original poster

Social restrictions to last a year - what does this mean for dating?

46 replies

Shineonyou · 22/04/2020 21:16

If I want to start dating, guess it’s best to put it on hold for the rest of the year?

Surely it’s a waste of time unless you can meet dates face to face?

OP posts:
PumpkinP · 22/04/2020 23:29

Yeh it probably is, people say it’s best not to get to know someone online without meeting as you are not getting to know the real person and start to think you know them when actually you don’t. Mind you I’ve been single for 3 years so a year seems like nothing. I personally wouldn’t bother if you can’t meet.

TossaCointoYerWitcher · 23/04/2020 03:30

I’m not going to lie, I’m a bit cup up about this. I’d met someone and we’d planned a first date just before the lockdown happened. Relationship is sort of mutually on hold now, as both agree we can’t really take things properly further without physically meeting. Was hoping it would just be a couple of months. Not sure any sense of romance will last a whole year. Things will have moved on.

Added to which there’s not seeing my parents or brother or even friends and work colleagues in the flesh until 2021. Not going to lie. It’s going to be hard to stave off a sense of hopelessness. I’d just come out of my divorce, from a cheating ex. Took some time to heal and now was when I was hoping to get my life back. 😟

TossaCointoYerWitcher · 23/04/2020 03:31

*cut up, not cup ip

Mascotte · 23/04/2020 03:36

I just don’t think it’s realistic to expect people to have no human contact for such a long time. Life must go on. Yes, there will be a risk but it needs to be balanced against other human need.

Mascotte · 23/04/2020 03:38

And @TossaCointoYerWitcher I’d finally got to a happy place after the same experience. I am seeing someone but don’t live together. It does feel a bit like pull yourself up and then get shoved back down!

PinkDaisey · 23/04/2020 09:37

I was wondering this.....

After being single through choice for 8 years (as I had extremely young children), I decided I was ready to start dating again. Then lockdown. Now social distancing for the foreseeable 😬

BooFuckingHoo2 · 23/04/2020 10:07

Yes it’s absolutely shit!

DDIJ · 23/04/2020 10:11

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Intothefuture · 23/04/2020 10:12

I don’t see the point myself. You could invest so much time and energy into texting but you probably wouldn’t be able to meet up for some time, and then you might not even like each other on sight.

There is also the risk factor if they are putting it about with hook-ups. How could you trust someone you don’t know?

NoMoreDickheads · 23/04/2020 10:24

We don't yet know quite what they're going to do.

Feelingfree · 23/04/2020 10:27

The report says ‘some’ measures will stay in place, not all. I would imagine large gatherings, festivals, pubs, restaurants etc will be the last measures to be lifted. Others could be lifted before, we just don’t know, but I certainly didn’t read it as current restrictions will last to 2021.

FakeFraudSquad · 23/04/2020 10:38

I’m in a state about this. I’ve got an autoimmune condition so most likely will be shielded for quite some time. I had a nervous breakdown in November/December and ended up on antidepressants and needing counselling as I was almost 36 and since my emotionally abusive relationship ended almost 6 years ago I’ve been alone and I couldn’t take living alone and missing out on having children any longer. It was really the biological clock ticking so loudly, my parents getting older, seeing everyone except me settled with beautiful young families that tore me apart in the end and I didn’t want to live anymore.

I’d just started getting into a better place. The medication got me out of the negative spiral. I’d taken on loads of new hobbies and was meeting new people. I planned on doing another course. I was really hoping that this would be the year I would meet someone and my counsellor kept reminding me there was still time for biological children.

I’ve now turned 36 with no dating prospects at all. Chances of becoming a mother are fading fast and I think this might be the final nail in the coffin for having a child.

I don’t agree personally with the sperm donor scenario so that’s not an option for me (and not going ahead anyway even if it were).

I can see it easily being 2 years before people like me with existing health conditions are able to get out there based on what doctor friends are saying.

My friend is a bit younger but in the same boat and says I should still use dating websites and get to know people online. I haven’t ruled it out but I’m not sure if there is any point or not. It’s good to see this thread and see others views as it may help me with all this pessimism!

Lampan · 23/04/2020 13:02

I agree that there’s little point trying to get to know someone online. You could be chatting for weeks/months and then meet face to face and just not fancy them. I think it’s a shame but it’s not as bad as having to go without seeing friends and family.
Just think what the dating scene will be like when people are eventually allowed to meet up Grin (though I know that might not be for a while!)

Dieu · 23/04/2020 13:15

@DDIJ

I don't understand. You've been actively trying to meet someone for years, yet don't actually go on dates??

EnamelledStars · 23/04/2020 13:27

I’m hoping that’s not what it actually means and that actually it will be like some other countries where gatherings are limited to 10 or so people.

I’m talking to someone now who I really want to meet - our conversations wont continue for a year and I don’t want them to. What if you end up investing so much and then don’t actually get on in person!

And I really want to see my casual again. That will definitely fizzle out by then.

I’m perhaps being too optimistic, but really hoping it’s just large gatherings and the social distancing measures in place in shops.

lmnoh · 23/04/2020 13:28

If you're chatting with someone whom you like, and you're getting on well, then why not suggest a zoom or FaceTime call, with a coffee or a glass of wine ??
It's not ideal but at least you get to actually get to see them xx

DDIJ · 23/04/2020 13:39

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SpudsAreLife84 · 23/04/2020 13:39

Added to which there’s not seeing my parents or brother or even friends and work colleagues in the flesh until 2021. Not going to lie. It’s going to be hard to stave off a sense of hopelessness. I’d just come out of my divorce, from a cheating ex. Took some time to heal and now was when I was hoping to get my life back Sicially distancing is very different from lockdown! You will see your family and friends and go back to work. Millions of us go into work still every day, we have to just keep 2m apart as best we an and wash our hands a lot, apart from that very little has changed. Dating will be difficult yes but other relationships with family etc will be fine, different but fine.

Dieu · 23/04/2020 13:45

@DDIJ

Och, that's rotten. I hope you'll find a post-lockdown lover! Smile

HugeAckmansWife · 23/04/2020 13:47

Not sure how this will work for situations like mine where I am in a serious longterm relationship but don't and can't cohabitat. We've managed so far but realistically I can't see us sticking to the rules beyond another month. We are both wfh, only our respective kids at home so minimal risk. I think at some point the giv has to allow people to take considered risks. If you're working out of the home, mixing with lots of people and are vulnerable then you'd likely not risk it, but in a situation like mine, it's your call. NHS is coping well thus far and they do actually need people to start contact again to allow the gradual inevitable spread.

Dieu · 23/04/2020 13:49

Ok, so I had been planning to rejoin Match, while my kids are at their dad's place this weekend. I knew I wouldn't be able to meet with anyone as yet, but thought it might be nice to have some grown-up chat in the interim.
So am I just as well forgetting that grand plan? I mean, I don't mind a few weeks of chatting, but certainly not months of it Sad

PumpkinP · 23/04/2020 14:30

Thinking about it more I have a couple of friends on fb that act really different online to how they are irl they portray themselves to be something they are not and also make their lives seem very different and that’s friends so imagine how a stranger could put
on an act. nope I wouldn’t build anything up with someone I couldn’t meet, you will get way too invested without actually knowing the person.

Frompcat · 23/04/2020 14:33

Guys social distancing and lockdown are not the same thing

stuckindoors77 · 23/04/2020 14:40

Added to which there’s not seeing my parents or brother or even friends and work colleagues in the flesh until 2021. Not going to lie. It’s going to be hard to stave off a sense of hopelessness. I’d just come out of my divorce, from a cheating ex. Took some time to heal and now was when I was hoping to get my life back

I'm pretty sure when they say "some" social distancing measures they mean, pubs, clubs, theatres and large group gatherings will be banned or severely restricted. I really don't think that you'll be stopped from seeing your entire family for the rest of the year.

As far as dating is concerned, I think once lockdown is eased you will be able to meet, 1-1 but it might have to be for a picnic or walk in the park for the time being. It won't be the same but people will be creative!

firebrand123 · 23/04/2020 14:46

@HugeAckmansWife (love the username!) I'm the same, my bloke and I have been together for 2 years but don't cohabit (yet) and it's getting really tough now.... I'm just hoping they lift the lockdown and the social distancing measures that remain allow us to start to visit each other again very soon.