I can't stand him anymore

[NameChanger201]

NC for this.
Me and DP have been together nearly 10 years and 1 DC.

Just as the title says really. I can't stand him and his attitude anymore.
He wasn't like this before DC just to add but cracks started to show when I was pregnant. He didn't pay for anything because he 'couldn't afford it' which is complete BS. So I paid for everything. Didn't think much of it at the time just got on with it.

Fast forward a few months and he's unbearable to live with. Does nothing with DC unless prompted and then gets all huffy about it.

He has been furloughed so is at home a lot now and I feel like I can't breathe. I can't have 5 minutes to myself without him following me around or asking me 1000 different questions that to any normal person would just get on with.

He has made my self confidence drop massively with his little sly digs all the time.
Plays his game console until about 1am then expects to have a lay in, in the morning.

I discussed I wasn't happy with him and when this is over with we should think about going our separate ways. He can't move out yet because he has no where to go because of people
Isolating and shielding. He then said he would make sure DC knew that I split up the family and make DC hate me for what I've done.

I suspect he is actually cheating but I don't have the evidence and a part of me actually doesn't care anymore.

I'm just over it and feel down everyday because that's how he makes me feel.

There is so much more to this story but I just wanted to know really how your DC were with a break up if you had one. DC isn't at an age he can talk but the fact he said he would tell DC it was my fault and get DC to hate me is playing on my mind.

I feel like a part of me is being selfish to DC and I should just stay put because DC adores his dad.

My DD was so much happier once I booted her lazy, work shy dad out. She loved him, she still does (regardless of his many, many failings) but even at 6yo (she’s 19 now) she knew that we weren’t happy together. I am a firm believer that children adapt better than we give them credit for. My DD was so much happier because I was. There was no more arguing, treading on eggshells because daddy was tired (from pathetic late night Call of Duty sessions 🙄) I was so much more relaxed and I saw a massive difference in her.
I hate her dad. I hate him for everything he ever put me through but to this day I’ve never put him down in front of her. I think if possible, that’s so important. Now she’s 19 she’s fully aware of his pathetic nature but I think she appreciates that I never used my own feelings towards him to try and ruin their relationship.
Generally, what’s best for you, will be best for your child.
Good luck OP x

When I split from my child's dad, she was almost 5yo and whenever she asked questions about why we moved house or why we didn't live with Daddy anymore, I told her that Mummy and Daddy were still friends but that we are better friends if we lived apart.

Fortunately, for me, she was of an age where that was enough of an answer for her and she didn't question it too much.

Kids are adaptable and resilient and your son will be too.

It sounds like your partner is lashing out at the prospect of a split between the pair of you but from what you have described, I don't think I could carry on in your situation.

I'm sorry you're having a difficult time and I hope things get better for you soon. X

Thank you. It's nice to hear that they are doing fine x