Give him another chance?

[Noodlesandrice12]

Met a guy online a couple of years ago. Not my usual type but the chemistry was there. Went on a few dates drinks & dinner. Then went out for a day - he went to get drinks and ordered me a double but tried to convince me it looked a lot because of the ice. He came clean when I didn’t believe him. He said he thought it was ok as I like a drink.Anyway it kind of spoilt the mood for that date and we lost touch.
He’s been in contact again and we started chatting. I mentioned the drink incident and now he seems to have gone quiet (or could just be busy at work).
Wondering if I’m stupid to give him a second chance?

Did you specifically ask for a single? I prefer a double myself... don't really see the problem here apart from him lying about it. Why did he feel the need to lie?

You broke up with someone because he ordered you a double rather than a single? I'd break up with someone if they got me a single rather than a double

Yes, asked for a Single as I didn’t want too much to drink before eating.

Buying a double and lying about it
Is him taking your choice away from you

That's sneaky behaviour and ide not go there again

If he'd got a double and said I thought you're like a large one hope you don't mind , then that's ok in my book. It gives you the chance to a make your own choice

I think there was a hope of getting you tipsy for other reasons
I wouldn't go there

I think your instincts say no. The intent was to get you to drink more alcohol then you wanted and he lied about it.

As soon as you asked him he could have said "yes" and then you had the choice to add more mixer. It shouldn't have been a big deal had been honest. I would take lying as a red flag especially if he was trying to trick you into getting drunk.

He’s replied to my text but ignored my comment about the drink incident...

Yeah that's a real red flag for me. There's literally no reason why you'd buy a double when they asked for a single, bearing in mind this is a date and not a night out with friends, and even less reason to lie about it.

As it bothered you this much then you shouldn't see him again

You should walk away, too much headspace is being taken up even thinking about it.

Wow you dumped a guy because of the drink he got you was wrong ?!
I’m surprised he got back in touch with you !

No, she dumped him because he tried to spike her with double the alcohol she requested and lied when she asked him about it. He trampled her boundaries in a creepy way.

Also the bit about he thought it was ok because you like a drink.... errrm, no. Definite red flag.

Hmm. In my experience (albeit many moons ago), blokes who sneakily try and slip you doubles without you noticing are hoping that you will be more likely to let them shag you if you are pissed.

don't really see the problem here apart from him lying about it. Why did he feel the need to lie?

@Shoxfordian Because he was trying to get OP drunk as he thought then he might have more chance of sex/ an opportunity to take advantage. I'm surprised anyone has to ask this.

Do you feel that you can’t trust him? And he was putting you in a vulnerable place?

I wouldn't trust him. It wasn't the fact of the wrong drink , it was the lie.

He was either trying to be generous and pay the extra for a really nice drink for you, or he was hoping you’d get pissed so he could climb in your pants.
Up to you to work out which

No, he was trying to get you drunk, I wouldn't give chances. Very few people are spiked - the most common "date-rape drug" is not rohypnol but alcohol - giving people doubles (or more) when they think they're drinking singles etc. You specifically asked for a single for a reason - he ignored that. And he's ignoring you bringing it up.

It could be non-malicious but why would you give him the chance when you might find out it was? Plenty of other men to date.

It seems like a petty issue on the surface but I have zero tolerance when it comes to people playing with my boundaries.

I guess you need to see how he reacts to you calling him out before making a decision.

Wow! Shocked and appalled yet unsurprised at what I assume to be mostly women posters dismissing op and the actions of a potential RAPIST!

In my day (I'm mid 40's) this practice was called "slipping someone a mickey" as in a "Mickey Finn"

Sometimes drugs are used but far more commonly it's extra alcohol in hopes the potential victim

A won't notice

B is less likely to display visible symptoms of having been deliberately incapacitated in this way

C won't be believed if allegations are made - and given our utterly WOEFUL rape prosecution let alone conviction rates they're not wrong are they?!

Op I wouldn't even be friends with a man like this and I'd be warning others off him too

He's a rapey creep!

Shame on those posters dismissing and mocking you!

Move on. Plenty more fish in the sea and all that.