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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Corona tension

2 replies

Treatedlikeamaid · 20/04/2020 08:30

Hello, just need a bit of help,
Very anxious- husband been made redundant which he is appealing against.
Lockdown not helping- 12 yr old boy getting very grumpy and can’t think of anything to do except screen time. At bed he becomes nice again but starts running around, so I have to tell him to quiet down, after telling him to perk up all day!
Dd seems ok, but I know she is fed up with her brother. We all miss him being jolly.
Dh says well have to sell house. Says it’s pointless me getting a job unless it’s a proper job - 37 hours a week in an office.
Pretty sure the kids heard him.
Working in a shop or part time doesn’t help the family apparently. It’s not enough money, I’m kidding myself because it’s easier than getting a proper job. I have a degree! So apparently I should be able to get an amazing career. ( I did have one before kids; 14 years ago) even I’m ashamed that I haven’t found work.
I did look into teaching but found it totally daunting - and I stupidly thought I’d have something else by now.
He was very cross at my part time cafe job which was just kidding myself.
I sold some pictures at Xmas, which I thought went ok - I didn’t earn loads, about £1000 over 2 months, and I’ve been told by business development thing that it could be a business.
But dh tells me it was 2 months when the house was a tip, I didn’t earn enough, it’s not a business, I’m wasting my time, that I am sleepwalking into disaster.
I’ve been looking for a job for ages, don’t seem to ever have the right skills.
Am so anxious I can’t think straight and feel like every avenue I think of is wrong or a dead end. I really can’t see where to aim for. Surely any job is a start? And would help the cv? Feeling totally useless.
I know I sound wimpy but I really am stuck, advise please!

OP posts:
PersonaNonGarter · 20/04/2020 08:35

This sounds so stressful, OPFlowers

I think you both need to cut each other some slack. He will be so stressed and upset by the job loss and also by the appeal process. That must be such a lot to go through.

It sounds as though he is transferring stress/responsibility to you about earning because he just can’t cope. OTOH, you need to accept your part in that (yes, you need a proper job) but OTOH you don’t need him to prescribe or be unpleasant about the type of job. That is him lashing out.

Get the supermarket job if you are able to. He will be glad of the income and it will keep you sane and get you out of the house. Whatever happens, keep earning.

Treatedlikeamaid · 20/04/2020 08:53

Thanks persona.
I agree, it’s surely better to get anything going and hopefully move up from there? Especially at the moment.
He tells me it’s a waste of my time though and I’m hiding.
Am so exhausted.

OP posts:
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