So why do I feel sad??

[Slimerecipehell]

My relationship of 4 yrs has just ended, if I’m honest,probably forced by me. He was a wonderful partner in so many ways but wouldn’t communicate emotionally. To the point where he put his house on the market without telling me (it was always going to happen so we could buy a place together,just thought we might have discussed it first!). A few other issues with parenting styles so it came to a rather abrupt end. Deep down I know it’s the right thing to break up but why am I sat here tonight thinking maybe I’m being selfish and unrealistic, maybe I’m looking for something that doesn’t exist? Should I accept his flaws to the detriment of being happy and feeling content? I feel so sad but maybe it’s just because I feel like I have failed again?

No you should never accept anything if it's to the detriment of feeling happy and content. Selling your house to move in with someone else is major. What's his reason for not telling you?

We have been talking about it for a few years but then he just went ahead and put his on the market and I found out via social media! I’m renting, so we only have to sell his property.

Of course you are sad, but be glad you are now in a position to meet someone who is right for you.

Yea I wouldn't be happy either if I found out my other half was selling his house and didn't think it relevant to tell me and I found out via social media.

It is normal to feel sad when something ends. I think that you grieve and sadness is a big part of it. It takes a lot out of you to be with someone who doesn’t share their emotions with you. I ended an abusive relationship and one of the issues was withholding information and emotions from me like I was not important or significant enough to ever know about things. I felt sad when I was sad when I was with him and I felt sad when I ended it but I know it was the right thing to do. He planned his whole life without any feature is me and when he knew he didn’t want to be with me anymore he could not express it to me in any way except ignoring me.

You haven’t failed As I imagine you tried very hard during the relationship but often did not get it back.

Your ex partner does not sound abusive but emotionally unavailable and perhaps unwilling to change, and you need someone who is more open with you.

Let the grief happen and it will get better and easier each day