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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Seeing long term girlfriend in lockdown

22 replies

mrdibbs · 19/04/2020 13:57

Would love some advice here. My ex and myself are separated. The kids usually come to me all the time and split 60/40 but they live with their mum 6 mins away. I have a girlfriend of 2 years. I stopped seeing them all as my son has asthma but now we found out he is not shielded as his asthma is not severe.

So I am going to see the kids and have them stay at mine as before some nights and so on.

Is it ok for me to also see my girlfriend of 2 years even though she does not live with me? I cannot find advice on this anywhere. My girlfriend has her own small child who lives with her and who visits his dad 3 hours away every 2 weeks.

Thank you in advance for your advice!

OP posts:
confusedfeelingss · 19/04/2020 13:59

No

Tatty101 · 19/04/2020 13:59

No - the advice clearly states no mixing of households except for kids going between separated people. You shouldn't be seeing people that dont live with you

AnneOfCloves · 19/04/2020 14:00

No

ImaPinkToothbrush12 · 19/04/2020 14:02

How can you not find advice anywhere???

kimlo · 19/04/2020 14:02

no. Asthmatics that aren't sheilding are still in the vunerable group and have to be taking the social distancing advice very setiously.

If it wasn't for the asthma, no, mixing house holds is not allowed.

pog100 · 19/04/2020 14:02

You shouldn't be seeing her, whether or not you have your kids there. It's pretty clear. There are hundreds of threads here about how to cope with not seeing bf/gf who live apart.

Thesearmsofmine · 19/04/2020 14:02

No she is from a different household.

CodenameVillanelle · 19/04/2020 14:03

How can you not find advice anywhere when one of the clearest and most well explained pieces of guidance is don't see anyone outside of your household?

LolaSmiles · 19/04/2020 14:05

No.

But I suspect you know that and are hoping posters will say it's up to you to assess your risk and you can see her if you feel the risk is low. You may still get those replies though, it doesn't make them right.

sofato5miles · 19/04/2020 14:05

I am beginning to re think my stance on this. It has less risk than going to the supermarket, for example.

This disease is going to spread and needs to spread slowly. But it is still going to spread.

The whole thing is shit.

pog100 · 19/04/2020 14:10

I think the point is that his, and her, and the ex's risk from supermarket shopping remain the same but now if any one of the three, or the kids, catch it, it will likely pass through all three households due to the close contacts. Thus massively increasing the infection ratio. Your stance really has little bearing on it.

sofato5miles · 19/04/2020 14:21

Maybe...

kimlo · 19/04/2020 14:22

plus you spend alot more time alot closer to your girlfriend/mother/friend/who ever than you do with the people in the super market, and the super market can't be avoided because you need to eat so it's essential.

ravenmum · 19/04/2020 14:23

I don't live in the Uk but have still heard the discussion on this, and it googles very well for those who want to find the answer!
www.theguardian.com/world/2020/mar/24/budding-couples-in-uk-told-to-live-together-or-stay-apart

kimlo · 19/04/2020 14:29

plus the op has a vunerable child. I have a child in the same group, I'm in the sale group and I'm doijg everything I can to keep the risks as low as possible. I would love to see my sister or my friends or anyone I don't live with really, but I don't.

Tatty101 · 19/04/2020 14:44

@sofato5miles except without going to the supermarket, people would not be able to eat.

OP is not going to die if he doesn't see his GF.

No non-essential contact, not sure what's so hard to understand about it ...

WriteAndErase · 19/04/2020 14:48

Ffs 🤦‍♀️

Beansandcoffee · 19/04/2020 14:49

I’m in the same situation and my understand is that adults do not move between houses. The govt has allowed children to move between houses on compassionate grounds and also some families have court orders. But adults do not move between houses.

givemeacall · 19/04/2020 14:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheGinGenie · 19/04/2020 15:00

I don't know why you need advice on this, it's very clear that you can't see anyone you don't live with unless it's your children or a vulnerable person you have to care for. This doesn't include partners you don't live with. You shouldn't be going to anyone's house and you shouldn't have anyone round who doesn't live there. It's been very clear the whole time.

CeibaTree · 19/04/2020 15:00

You are not in the same household, so no. I guess you could move in together and combine households if you wanted to get around this, but you'd have to do this for the remainder of lockdown 🤷‍♀️

HaveAtEm · 19/04/2020 15:08

Oh ffs! You absolutely know the answer to this so stop being such a dick!

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