Am I right to be hurt?

[Bet285941]

So I need some opinions/advice, am I being weird or am I right to feel hurt...

Recently slept with my boyfriend, but he says to me I won’t kiss you as I smell of beer and I know you don’t like that, so Straight away that’s a turn off for me ... are we in pretty woman or what!!

The next day I have to go to work, I leave but return 10 minutes later (forgot phone) he is stripped naked sitting on the couch watching porn ... I didn’t know what to say but wanted to get out of there quick!

We discuss this he says he’s still a bit tipsy from the day before, ok, whatever!

Then the end of the week, he yet again has another drink, he says ‘can you go to bed now’ ‘can you go up and get a head start on sleep as I will snore’ I got up but after 30 min I go down and ask if he’s coming up, he gets in bed, turns his back to me and is clearly playing with himself!

Now this is how I’m feeling ... we have sex, I clearly didn’t do it for you as the next day you’re up watching porn the minute I leave the house, your excuse was I was still a bit drunk ... you get drunk again and without even attempting to touch your girlfriend you start sorting yourself out ... I feel like what’s the point?

Exactly that. What is the point ? He sounds vile.

I don’t know how long you’ve been with this guy but regardless, you’re definitely right to feel hurt. His behaviour is just massively ick...

We have been together 4 years! It just makes me wonder how long he’s been doing this, I’m not a prude but just really shocked me

Aside from anything else he's showing you no respect. That would be the issue for me.

Have you raised it with him again? Was he watching porn in bed the second time?

No he was just laying there, He denies it but when the bed keeps jiggling etc I know what he’s doing I’m not stupid

@allthesharks this is how I feel but now stuck in the house with him not talking with our 2 year old such a horrible atmosphere

Hi I rarely reply to these but your boyfriend sounds exactly like my exhusband, the minute my back was turned he was watching porn. He ended up with death grip :-( I would end it, it will only get worse. I'm sorry

@Stealthynamechange i don’t even want to be around him, as I think if this is how your acting during quarantine what have you been doing when out and about, probably thinking way too much into it but just wounded

@hannasbananas xx

Porn addict sadly, I’d get rid, you’ll never be enough & what turns them on becomes so vile you don’t want to be.

Porn addiction isn't something you can diagnose over the course of a few posts, guys.

You need to talk to him. Don't accuse. Ask him what's caused this behaviour. Explain to him that you feel unhappy and rejected.

You're feeling hurt and that's perfectly fine. It's not nice when your partner prioritises his hand over the living and breathing woman Infront of him. But it might not be about you.

Sometimes I choose to masturbate over having sex. I use it as an outlet. If I am feeling stressed or anxious, I can do something that will instantly relieve me. Sex is an act between two people that shouldn't be used to just relieve yourself.

Maybe he is experiencing that specific need and doesn't want the intimacy, to have to care about your orgasm or to have to interact.

My partner has been hurt by this in the past, but we have discussed it and he now sees that there's a very real difference between the two things for me, whereas he closely relates the two.

Just talk to your partner.

Eww.

@Crackerscheesescabbyknees I get that, but surely after speaking to him after the porn incident and then within the same week coming to bed and masturbating whilst I’m laying beside him, just seems stupid, I would completely understood if he just said he doesn’t fancy me anymore, we have a 2 year old so my body has changed I also recently lost my dad which means perhaps I’m not as fun as I used to be, however I just feel that he’s kicking me whilst I’m down, have tried talking to him about it and all I get is I was drunk ... id has a drink blah

Don't just assume that he doesn't find you attractive. He hasn't said this and you two have recently had sex.
He clearly doesn't feel comfortable telling you why he's behaving this way (outside of being drunk). It's either the way you're both communicating or you have a deeper issue.
No one on here is going to be able to tell you, definitively, what it is. The only person you're going to get that from is him.

IDK about hurt, but I would be turned off him a bit by this.

The fact he watches porn wouldn't bother me but it's how he's speaking to you and when he's watching it that would bother me

Then the end of the week, he yet again has another drink, he says ‘can you go to bed now’ ‘can you go up and get a head start on sleep as I will snore’ I got up but after 30 min I go down and ask if he’s coming up, he gets in bed, turns his back to me and is clearly playing with himself

End this now.. his focus is getting his rocks off and not with you ... you were right there and he still turned to porn instead of coming to bed... DITCH