I’m 16 and broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years in December. We were in love and had so many amazing memories and I don’t know about her but I still have deep feelings for her. Just for a bit of background, before her I was a very deep thinker, I overthought every little thing and didn’t know how to talk about emotional things with anyone but she showed me how to with her which helped a lot. I still overthink a lot and have started doing it a lot more recently as I miss her more and more, and I see myself going backwards to what I used to be like. I also only speak about my emotions to a very select few people (my best mate and one of my exes friends who I’m good friends with). We grew so much together and helped each other through so much. As you can probably tell I’m quite a concealed person emotionally but I’m quite an outgoing person on the outside so not many people can tell when I’m down.
The breakup was relatively mutual, I think we just both felt it was time. My reasons for the breakup were that I found that there were a lot of things that she put before me too often for example school work and family. Now, I understand that there’s a balance and previously those two things are very important but I always felt second best. The school work especially got to me over the Christmas period which is when I knew I was second best and just got sick of it. We had mock AS levels when we got back to school so she was revising a lot (she is an all A student and puts in a lot of work for it), so I understand that she needs time to revise and get good results but I always had to text first and ask to meet up etc. I decided to stop this and see how long it would take her to text me first. After 6 days of absolutely nothing, not even ‘sorry for not texting’, I text her and said we needed to talk about this, which is what lead to the breakup. To add to the unwanted reason, it was the fact that as I’ve said, I always had to text first and 90% of the time be the one to initiate plans, but also she rarely wanted to FaceTime or calls she was always too busy supposedly. At parties I would always have to talk to her and a lot of the time it felt like she was consciously trying to blank me. Another reason is that I get jealous very easily which I presume is because of my overthinking, but even though it probably meant nothing when she was talking to other guys, I always thought the worst, which messed with my head and made me think a lot about it.
I know this probably makes me sound quite controlling but I honestly don’t think I was in any way. I wouldn’t say I didn’t want her to do things. I would just get jealous, overthink etc. very easily, which was something that no matter how much I tried not to and wanted to stop, I couldn’t help. And I thought that rather than bottling it up it would just be better to let her know how I felt.
I really miss her and honestly know that I want her back. I don’t know whether to speak to her about this or not. It’s been 4 months and I’m missing her more all the time so I think I probably should and see if she is the same and possibly resolve things if we think its the right thing to do. I don’t have any experience in breakups so if anyone does or even if they don’t and think they can give an opinion I would be really grateful for any advice.